Okay, this is going to be the LAST of my Tour de France analysis posts....
I was really bothered by the fact that Vinokourov kept attaching and being pulled back by his own teammates. I've sort of tried to figure out why. What follows is the result of what my little brain could figure out.
Please understand that tons of this is purely conjecture. I really have no idea what T-Mobile was thinking.
I've said it before... Lance really has changed how the tour is ridden. You not only need to prepare a certain way and bring a particular type of team to the tour, you also have to be of a very specific body type and riding style to compete. Lance is a relatively compact cyclist that is extremely lean with a HUGE motor. He climbs extremely well at a high cadence and races the time trials with the best of them. (Y'all already know that). He also has an unbelievable level of devotion to and from his team. To compete with Lance, you need to be that kind of rider.
T-Mobile's big problem is that they have no riders like that at the top level.
Vinokourov is compact and climbs well, but the mass that allows him to pull away from the sprint field with 2k left in the final stage of the tour keeps him from going that extra step to climbing like Lance, Rasmussen or Valverde do (or Pantani did).
Ullrich is a big, powerful rider a-la Riis and Indurain. You've all heard the comparison about pushing a big gear in the mountains VS spinning.
Kloden is somewhere in between and doesn’t really have a reputation of being a team player.
Because each of them doesn’t match up head to head against Lance, why not race all three of them against him?
I think we all expected the White and Blue train (the Discovery version of the Postal Blue Train) to be setting the pace in the mountains. They always have great climbers around Lance to set the pace and protect him. They're great in shelling people off the back by lifting the pace.
Would T-Mobile have benefited by having its own group of super climbers to protect and set pace for Ullrich? Would it have been possible to have had a “Pink Train” to try and "out-Postal" the Discovery channel? Personally, I don't think that would have been possible or even productive.
T-Mobile needed a different tactic. They'd proven that Ullrich, if in good form, could more or less stay close to Lance on his own. Having team-mates around wouldn't help him stay on when the pace gets lifted high in the mountains. He's limited in how fast and hard he can turn over that "big gear" that Phil and Paul talk about all the time. He knows his body and can lift the pace when he's able. He's still going to lose some time, but he showed that he could pull back and keep them fairly close.
T-Mobile needed a different tactic. They needed to find a way to isolate Lance and wear down the Discovery team. It is the only way that they would be able to have a chance at beating him.
I wish there was a way of knowing what T-Mobile's team orders were. My guess was that their hopes were to have 3 guys high in the ranking (Vinokourov, Kloden and Ullirch). By doing that, each time one of them attacked, Discovery and CSC would be forced to respond. Since they'd have to respond and chase down 3 attackers, they'd wear out quicker and be more vulnerable.
With that in mind, Ullrich could still be their main guy... he just had a few backups close by in case he faltered. They could step up and be the threat. I think they knew Ullrich would always be high in the GC. His worst placing in the tour is 4th. The other guys were just an addition to put pressure on Disco and CSC.
That is the way T-Mobile seemed to ride at least. The problem was that Vinokourov and later Kloden fell back too far to be a threat. Discovery and CSC didn't have to chase either of them down on every attack. When Vinokourov fell back in the GC, they never really changed their tactics. Vinokourov was still out attacking even though Disco and CSC weren't chasing. That left it to Ullrich and Kloden to bring him back and try attacks of their own. That was their mistake. Once Vinokourov fell back in the standings, they should have changed tactics. Send Vinokourov out now and then to try and get time back, but also keep him back to help Ullrich in his times of need.
In many ways the tactic worked. Lance was more exposed on this tour than he has been in any previous year. He spent more time riding without teammates on CAT 1 and HC climbs than in most of the other tours. There were plenty of times that aggression by T-Mobile lower on the slopes paid off higher up in isolating Lance. Had T-Mobile really had the tripple threat going, maybe they could have beaten him down a bit more.
It is an interesting tactic and, if it is really what they were trying to do, I give them credit for trying something new and different to beat Lance.
Pete
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Monday, July 25, 2005
It is all Stuart O'Grady's fault....
Oy oy.
After writing the post below and talking with people on the cycling boards about the Tour de France over the last day or two, I found I had one more thing to say.
The title of this post is somewhat misleading. I really like Stuart O'Grady. He's one of the only sprinters in the peloton that isn't afraid of attacking and going on breaks in the big tours. He's done it a bunch in the past and I always love seeing it.
I talked below about how the pace of the first week and the toughness of the mountains made it nearly impossible for the teams of the main sprinters to chase down breaks in the last week. Stages 16, 17 and 19 were RIPE for a sprint finish, but no-one in either Confidis or Davitamon-Lotto had the power or motivation to chase them down. They ended up having big breaks off the front, so the main pack was stuck at the back fighting it out for the minor placings.
That's where my buddy Stuart O'Grady could have made a difference. Had he made it into one of those breaks and ridden hard to stay away, both Davitamon-Lotto and Credit Agricole would have had to chase. Who else was going to do it??? (I am) Thor (God of Thunder) Hushovd** wasn't going to get into a break. He had a decent lead in the points chase. Robbie McEwen wasn't going to do it because he's the stealth guy who comes out of no-where in the middle of a chaotic pack to compete and often win a sprint stage.
That leaves O'Grady. He was high enough placed in the green jersey competition that both Davitamon-Lotto and Credit Agricole would have to chase, yet not so high in the GC to have inspired T-Mobile, CSC or Discovery Channel to not let him go. (T-Mobile was too busy chasing down Vino to do much else.) ;)
Now I know that the tour is full of what-ifs. What if McEwen hadn't been penalized in Stage 3? What if O'Grady had been equally penalized in Stage 3 for starting the pushing? What if Tom Boonen hadn't dropped out? What if Eddy Merxcks had come out of retirement and ridden one last tour and kicked EVERYONE'S asses. (just kidding about the last one).
I guess my point is that there was one person who could have brought life to the points race during the last week of the tour. It would have been damn cool to see.
Go get 'em next year, Stuart. You're due for some quality time in green.
Pete
** The "I am Thor, God of Thunder" thing is from one of my favorite books. It was written by Douglas Adams. Ask if you don't know about it.
After writing the post below and talking with people on the cycling boards about the Tour de France over the last day or two, I found I had one more thing to say.
The title of this post is somewhat misleading. I really like Stuart O'Grady. He's one of the only sprinters in the peloton that isn't afraid of attacking and going on breaks in the big tours. He's done it a bunch in the past and I always love seeing it.
I talked below about how the pace of the first week and the toughness of the mountains made it nearly impossible for the teams of the main sprinters to chase down breaks in the last week. Stages 16, 17 and 19 were RIPE for a sprint finish, but no-one in either Confidis or Davitamon-Lotto had the power or motivation to chase them down. They ended up having big breaks off the front, so the main pack was stuck at the back fighting it out for the minor placings.
That's where my buddy Stuart O'Grady could have made a difference. Had he made it into one of those breaks and ridden hard to stay away, both Davitamon-Lotto and Credit Agricole would have had to chase. Who else was going to do it??? (I am) Thor (God of Thunder) Hushovd** wasn't going to get into a break. He had a decent lead in the points chase. Robbie McEwen wasn't going to do it because he's the stealth guy who comes out of no-where in the middle of a chaotic pack to compete and often win a sprint stage.
That leaves O'Grady. He was high enough placed in the green jersey competition that both Davitamon-Lotto and Credit Agricole would have to chase, yet not so high in the GC to have inspired T-Mobile, CSC or Discovery Channel to not let him go. (T-Mobile was too busy chasing down Vino to do much else.) ;)
Now I know that the tour is full of what-ifs. What if McEwen hadn't been penalized in Stage 3? What if O'Grady had been equally penalized in Stage 3 for starting the pushing? What if Tom Boonen hadn't dropped out? What if Eddy Merxcks had come out of retirement and ridden one last tour and kicked EVERYONE'S asses. (just kidding about the last one).
I guess my point is that there was one person who could have brought life to the points race during the last week of the tour. It would have been damn cool to see.
Go get 'em next year, Stuart. You're due for some quality time in green.
Pete
** The "I am Thor, God of Thunder" thing is from one of my favorite books. It was written by Douglas Adams. Ask if you don't know about it.
What a boring Tour de France....
This year's Tour should have been really boring. All of the jerseys winners were set very early in the tour. The top of the GC didn't change after stage 10. The KoM didn't change after Stage 9. The Sprint Jersey didn't change after stage 12. The best young rider didn't change after 13. Most of those competitions weren't even really close after they changed hands the last time.
Sure it was statistically possible for each of these people to lose their jersey up until late in the race, but for the most part that fell under the "anything can happen in the Tour" department (as Tom Boonen and Alessandro Valverde found out).
The pace of the peloton through the first week was amazingly fast. It really didn't slow down that much in the last two weeks. That pretty much eliminated many of the sprint teams from being able to chase down breaks in the last week that would have made the sprint competition more fun to watch.
That said, this was definitely NOT a boring tour by any means. I loved watching how the GC changed between places 3-15. It was cool to see long breakaways succeed. It was amazing to watch how Giuseppe Guerini's (Edit: I always get him mixed up with Gilberto Simoni -- sorry) break succeeded while others were torn apart behind them because of stupid attacks by one rider. It was a great lesson in how to work as a team in a break and what happens when you don't work as a team.
It was great to see Vino attacking at every opportunity. It was FREAKISH to see Kloden and Ullrich being the ones that chased him down time and time again. I've said it a few times already.... I'd have loved to be a fly on the wall during some of the T-Mobile team dinners after those stages.
Rasmussen's time trial was heart breaking. It always hurts to see someone fall apart so completely. He went from 3rd to 7th in the GC on the basis of one ride. He's definitely got some work to do over the next 11 months if he wants to redeem himself. I can't help but feel like he needs to learn how to face adversity and learn how to ride when everything isn't technically perfect. That seemed to hold him back in the time trial, and maybe some in the mountains too. I question whether his refusal to carry water above certain points in the climbs because the weight holds him back might have had something to do with his strength on some of the later climbs in the tour and his resiliancy in the final stages. I have no proof of that, but as this weekend showed me, sometimes you need to dust yourself off, duct tape your saddle to the top of your seatpost, and ride 7 miles back to the car. (That's another story for this blog).
Vino's stage win yesterday was the icing on the cake. What a freakish ride that he did to escape from the pack with less than 2k to go and work together with two others to stay ahead of the field. I can't imagine the amount of effort that it took to hold the pace so high for so long.
The thing that impressed me most was Lance's ride. Lance lost me last year when he let the legal battles with Simeoni influence the way he rode the tour. For some reason that struck me as petty and small. Those are qualities that I hadn't really ever associated with Lance. Though I haven't gone out of my way to bash Lance for that, I did voice my disappointment and didn't count myself as a Lance fan for the last year or so.
What a difference a year makes. Even though there were members of the press that tried bringing up some of these issues, Lance handled things with poise and grace that is truly fitting of a champion of his caliber. He rose above those accusations and in my eyes did what he should have done from the start. He decided to fight those battles in the court rather than in the Tour.
Bravo Lance. You've gone a long way to winning me back as a fan.
Thanks for a great tour y'all. It has been fun sharing it with the folks that I e-mail and talk with. I can't wait for next year. I think the Lance-free tour will be an interesting one. There are so many great riders who will be competing it.
How will the race change after Lance? Are there going to be teams that focus many of their resources soully on the tour? I kind of hope not. Will The Chicken learn how to ride a Time Trial? How will the battle of the old guard (who have been waiting for Lance to retire) battle it out with the new riders (who learned from Lance on their way up)?
Tune in and see. Anyone want to make any early predictions?
Talk to you soon.
Pete
Sure it was statistically possible for each of these people to lose their jersey up until late in the race, but for the most part that fell under the "anything can happen in the Tour" department (as Tom Boonen and Alessandro Valverde found out).
The pace of the peloton through the first week was amazingly fast. It really didn't slow down that much in the last two weeks. That pretty much eliminated many of the sprint teams from being able to chase down breaks in the last week that would have made the sprint competition more fun to watch.
That said, this was definitely NOT a boring tour by any means. I loved watching how the GC changed between places 3-15. It was cool to see long breakaways succeed. It was amazing to watch how Giuseppe Guerini's (Edit: I always get him mixed up with Gilberto Simoni -- sorry) break succeeded while others were torn apart behind them because of stupid attacks by one rider. It was a great lesson in how to work as a team in a break and what happens when you don't work as a team.
It was great to see Vino attacking at every opportunity. It was FREAKISH to see Kloden and Ullrich being the ones that chased him down time and time again. I've said it a few times already.... I'd have loved to be a fly on the wall during some of the T-Mobile team dinners after those stages.
Rasmussen's time trial was heart breaking. It always hurts to see someone fall apart so completely. He went from 3rd to 7th in the GC on the basis of one ride. He's definitely got some work to do over the next 11 months if he wants to redeem himself. I can't help but feel like he needs to learn how to face adversity and learn how to ride when everything isn't technically perfect. That seemed to hold him back in the time trial, and maybe some in the mountains too. I question whether his refusal to carry water above certain points in the climbs because the weight holds him back might have had something to do with his strength on some of the later climbs in the tour and his resiliancy in the final stages. I have no proof of that, but as this weekend showed me, sometimes you need to dust yourself off, duct tape your saddle to the top of your seatpost, and ride 7 miles back to the car. (That's another story for this blog).
Vino's stage win yesterday was the icing on the cake. What a freakish ride that he did to escape from the pack with less than 2k to go and work together with two others to stay ahead of the field. I can't imagine the amount of effort that it took to hold the pace so high for so long.
The thing that impressed me most was Lance's ride. Lance lost me last year when he let the legal battles with Simeoni influence the way he rode the tour. For some reason that struck me as petty and small. Those are qualities that I hadn't really ever associated with Lance. Though I haven't gone out of my way to bash Lance for that, I did voice my disappointment and didn't count myself as a Lance fan for the last year or so.
What a difference a year makes. Even though there were members of the press that tried bringing up some of these issues, Lance handled things with poise and grace that is truly fitting of a champion of his caliber. He rose above those accusations and in my eyes did what he should have done from the start. He decided to fight those battles in the court rather than in the Tour.
Bravo Lance. You've gone a long way to winning me back as a fan.
Thanks for a great tour y'all. It has been fun sharing it with the folks that I e-mail and talk with. I can't wait for next year. I think the Lance-free tour will be an interesting one. There are so many great riders who will be competing it.
How will the race change after Lance? Are there going to be teams that focus many of their resources soully on the tour? I kind of hope not. Will The Chicken learn how to ride a Time Trial? How will the battle of the old guard (who have been waiting for Lance to retire) battle it out with the new riders (who learned from Lance on their way up)?
Tune in and see. Anyone want to make any early predictions?
Talk to you soon.
Pete
Monday, July 11, 2005
What can you say about a guy like Chris???
I've said a lot of stupid things on this blog. This isn't one of them.
My buddy Chris died this morning after a battle for his life that he's been fighting since I met him over 9 years ago. If you've known me for any length of time, you know about him. You may have heard amazing stories about this kid, his love of life and the gift he gave to everyone who knew him. That gift was his heart and he shared it with us every day of his life.
I'd just like to share a conversation that I had with Chris about a year or so ago. I was over at his place hanging out and watching some car race on TV. When that was over, we moved into the dining room and started building some legos that he'd been working on.
We'd been at it for an hour or so when he stopped, looked at me and uttered the only complaint I ever heard him make. He said, "What the heck am I doing? What is a guy my age doing playing with kids toys? I know that it is good for my manual dexterity and that it helps me move and get motor skills back, but I feel so useless doing this."
He looked up at me and I just had a big grin on my face. At first he looked cross with me --- thinking I was making light of his frustrations. Then he got it. I told him that sitting here and building legos with him had nothing to do with manual dextierity or getting any skills back. We were there building legos because we both like building legos. I also added that while it was a bit odd for a 27 year old to be building legos, it is even more odd for a 39 year old to be building legos. And it is REALLY odd that both of us were enjoying it so dang much.
We both laughed and continued building. We both wanted to finish the dang castle so we could sit back and look at it before tearing it all down and starting over with the next kit.
I can't begin to tell you how fortunate that I am to have had those days building legos, racing radio controlled cars, working on real cars, or just hanging out at home or in the hospital talking with Chris.
I can't begin to tell you what a gift it was to have him share his life, his heart and his family with Laura and I.
I can't begin to tell you how happy I am to know that though we're all grieving here today, Chris already understands how much he is cherished and loved by God and all of us. He is and always has been in the care of the Almighty.
Chris had a way of boiling ideas down to their simplest components. His theory on car racing seems to apply to the way he thought we all should lead our lives. "Go really fast on one direction until you get to something, then turn."
Thanks Chris. We had a great ride. We'll take it from here.
Pete
My buddy Chris died this morning after a battle for his life that he's been fighting since I met him over 9 years ago. If you've known me for any length of time, you know about him. You may have heard amazing stories about this kid, his love of life and the gift he gave to everyone who knew him. That gift was his heart and he shared it with us every day of his life.
I'd just like to share a conversation that I had with Chris about a year or so ago. I was over at his place hanging out and watching some car race on TV. When that was over, we moved into the dining room and started building some legos that he'd been working on.
We'd been at it for an hour or so when he stopped, looked at me and uttered the only complaint I ever heard him make. He said, "What the heck am I doing? What is a guy my age doing playing with kids toys? I know that it is good for my manual dexterity and that it helps me move and get motor skills back, but I feel so useless doing this."
He looked up at me and I just had a big grin on my face. At first he looked cross with me --- thinking I was making light of his frustrations. Then he got it. I told him that sitting here and building legos with him had nothing to do with manual dextierity or getting any skills back. We were there building legos because we both like building legos. I also added that while it was a bit odd for a 27 year old to be building legos, it is even more odd for a 39 year old to be building legos. And it is REALLY odd that both of us were enjoying it so dang much.
We both laughed and continued building. We both wanted to finish the dang castle so we could sit back and look at it before tearing it all down and starting over with the next kit.
I can't begin to tell you how fortunate that I am to have had those days building legos, racing radio controlled cars, working on real cars, or just hanging out at home or in the hospital talking with Chris.
I can't begin to tell you what a gift it was to have him share his life, his heart and his family with Laura and I.
I can't begin to tell you how happy I am to know that though we're all grieving here today, Chris already understands how much he is cherished and loved by God and all of us. He is and always has been in the care of the Almighty.
Chris had a way of boiling ideas down to their simplest components. His theory on car racing seems to apply to the way he thought we all should lead our lives. "Go really fast on one direction until you get to something, then turn."
Thanks Chris. We had a great ride. We'll take it from here.
Pete
"Talk dirty to me like a sexy sheep!"
I love SMS messaging -- otherwise known as text messaging on cell phones. It is a nice way to communicate so that folks don't have to answer you right away, but you can let them know what is going on.
You have to understand the context before the sexy sheep come into play... I was helping set up a ride for the weekend while driving back from the netherregions of Virginia (Roanoke)using SMS last week. There was way too much bickering going on about when we were going to ride. David went off on some sort of Pirate tangent and said that anyone that defied his 7am start time would have to walk the plank. I suggested that I'd lead a ride at 7am, then pick up others at 10:30 for a longer ride.
Jason said this was silly and that I shouldn't have to lead 2 rides. The message I intended to (and eventually did) send was, "I would rather do two rides than walk the plank."
Now you need to know a little about how SMS works on a Nokia phone. You type the letters for your message using the number pad on the phone. Each number has certain letters associated with it, and the character recognition program forms the number sequences into the most likely possible words for the note that you're creating. If it guesses the wrong word, you hit the * button and the next possible choice comes up. If none of the choices is right, then you can spell the word out using the number pad. It is more time consuming, but at least that word is then added to the dictionary.
When I type the numbers to spell out the word "Rides", the first choice is "Sides". I usually have to hit the * key once to get ot to jump to "Rides". I accidentally hit the * key twice -- completely changing the meaning of the message I was trying to send. Jason and David almost got a message that read, "I'd rather do two sheep than walk the plank."
Though I never sent the message, I'm the kind of idiot that has to write and talk about the stupid things that come out of my head and thumbs. So there you have it. The guys thought it was pretty funny. David made some sheep jokes. he's now got the nickname "Daaaaavid" (spoken with a bleating sheep voice). I'm sure that one will last till he beats us up. ;)
Have a nice day.
Pete
You have to understand the context before the sexy sheep come into play... I was helping set up a ride for the weekend while driving back from the netherregions of Virginia (Roanoke)using SMS last week. There was way too much bickering going on about when we were going to ride. David went off on some sort of Pirate tangent and said that anyone that defied his 7am start time would have to walk the plank. I suggested that I'd lead a ride at 7am, then pick up others at 10:30 for a longer ride.
Jason said this was silly and that I shouldn't have to lead 2 rides. The message I intended to (and eventually did) send was, "I would rather do two rides than walk the plank."
Now you need to know a little about how SMS works on a Nokia phone. You type the letters for your message using the number pad on the phone. Each number has certain letters associated with it, and the character recognition program forms the number sequences into the most likely possible words for the note that you're creating. If it guesses the wrong word, you hit the * button and the next possible choice comes up. If none of the choices is right, then you can spell the word out using the number pad. It is more time consuming, but at least that word is then added to the dictionary.
When I type the numbers to spell out the word "Rides", the first choice is "Sides". I usually have to hit the * key once to get ot to jump to "Rides". I accidentally hit the * key twice -- completely changing the meaning of the message I was trying to send. Jason and David almost got a message that read, "I'd rather do two sheep than walk the plank."
Though I never sent the message, I'm the kind of idiot that has to write and talk about the stupid things that come out of my head and thumbs. So there you have it. The guys thought it was pretty funny. David made some sheep jokes. he's now got the nickname "Daaaaavid" (spoken with a bleating sheep voice). I'm sure that one will last till he beats us up. ;)
Have a nice day.
Pete
Monday, July 04, 2005
A *NEW* kind of patch...
Well the patch phase has finally arrived. Patches have been used for years to deliver medication of different kinds. There are patches to help you quit smoking, deal with motion sickness, provide birth control, and many more. Those of you who know me, know my fascination with the wonderful world of penis enlargement. I think the whole penis enlargement industry is a total crack-up. I guess that fits in well with my burp and fart mentality.
As you might imagine, someone came up with the penis enlargement patch. I pretty much busted a gut when I read about that. Now the ad that I read didn't go into much detail. I was a little disappointed by that. It did, however, leave me with a few questions that will require some research.
Where do you stick the patch?
Assuming you don't apply the patch to your penis, how do the active ingrediants know where to work their magic?
What happens if someone puts one of those patches on who doesn't have a penis?
What happens if you use more than one patch? Can you overdose?
After the Cialis warning messages ("Erections lasting more than 4 hours require immediate medical attention" HELLO NURSE!!!) (I added the "Hello Nurse" part), can you imagine what the penis enlargement patch disclaimers look like?
My wife is the smart one in the family. I know I don't have to say that to any of you. She's forbidden me to try any of these products. I keep telling her, "They say the affects are only temporary. When you stop using it, you go back to normal." That line of argument hasn't gotten anywhere.
I don't really want a larger penis, though it might be fun to take one for a test ride. I am just curious and fascianted by the whole penis industry.
Don't even get me on the topic of erectile disfunction medication. Just a few weeks ago I heard a thing that medicare was thinking about discontinuing funding for Viagra for sex offenders. Go figure.
Have a nice day.
Pete
As you might imagine, someone came up with the penis enlargement patch. I pretty much busted a gut when I read about that. Now the ad that I read didn't go into much detail. I was a little disappointed by that. It did, however, leave me with a few questions that will require some research.
Where do you stick the patch?
Assuming you don't apply the patch to your penis, how do the active ingrediants know where to work their magic?
What happens if someone puts one of those patches on who doesn't have a penis?
What happens if you use more than one patch? Can you overdose?
After the Cialis warning messages ("Erections lasting more than 4 hours require immediate medical attention" HELLO NURSE!!!) (I added the "Hello Nurse" part), can you imagine what the penis enlargement patch disclaimers look like?
My wife is the smart one in the family. I know I don't have to say that to any of you. She's forbidden me to try any of these products. I keep telling her, "They say the affects are only temporary. When you stop using it, you go back to normal." That line of argument hasn't gotten anywhere.
I don't really want a larger penis, though it might be fun to take one for a test ride. I am just curious and fascianted by the whole penis industry.
Don't even get me on the topic of erectile disfunction medication. Just a few weeks ago I heard a thing that medicare was thinking about discontinuing funding for Viagra for sex offenders. Go figure.
Have a nice day.
Pete
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Big George Hincapie: The Game
Has anyone else noticed Phil Liggett's afinity for George Hincapie? There's definitely a drinking game there. For the next airing of the tour coverage line up a bunch of beer bottles on the coffee table. Every time Phil says "Big George Hincapie" you have to take a drink. Every time he says something weird like "Big George Hincapie licking his lips" as in yesterday's coverage, or my personal favorite, "Big George Hincapie, with his legs pumping like big bronze pistons," you have to chug the whole beer. I think you'll find that you're drunk in no time and an alcoholic by the end of the tour.
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