New Year's Resolutions...

Well last year's resolution (to abuse alcohol) went so well, I need to do some good ones for this year.... 

 

1)  I resolve to change my name to "Dirt".   

 

2)  I resolve not to use Spam, duct tape, Gorilla Glue or a propane torch in my sex life. 

 

Since I can't imagine topping that resolution in this post, I'll leave it at that for now. 

 

Hugs and Kisses.

 

Pete

 

PS:  I guess resolution #1 definitely adds new meaning to my license plate. ;)

Happy Holidays from The Onion. ;)

 

Activist Judge Cancels Christmas
December 14, 2005 | Issue 41•50

WASHINGTON, DC—In a sudden and unexpected blow to the Americans working
to protect the holiday, liberal U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals Judge
Stephen Reinhardt ruled the private celebration of Christmas unconstitutional
Monday.


Per the court order, city workers take down the Christmas tree from New
York's Rockefeller Plaza. "In accordance with my activist agenda to secularize the nation, this
court finds Christmas to be unlawful," Judge Reinhardt said. "The celebration
of the birth of the philosopher Jesus—be it in the form of gift-giving,
the singing of carols, fanciful decorations, or general good cheer and warm
feelings amongst families—is in violation of the First Amendment
principles upon which this great nation was founded."

In addition to forbidding the celebration of Christmas in any form,
Judge Reinhardt has made it illegal to say "Merry Christmas." Instead, he has
ruled that Americans must say "Happy Holidays" or "Vacaciones Felices"
if they wish to extend good tidings.

Within an hour of the judge's verdict, National Guard troops were
mobilized to enforce the controversial ruling.

"Sorry, kids, no Christmas this year," Beloit, WI mall Santa Gene Ernot
said as he was led away from his Santa's Village in leg irons. "Write to
your congressman to put a stop to these liberal activist judges. It's up to
you to save Christmas! Ho ho ho!"

Said Pvt. Stanley Cope, who tasered Ernot for his outburst: "We're
fighting an unpopular war on Christmas, but what can we do? The military has no
choice but to take orders from a lone activist judge."

Across America, the decision of the all-powerful liberal courts was met
with shock and disappointment, as American families quietly took down their
holiday decorations and canceled their plans to gather and make merry.

"They've been chipping away at Christmas rights for decades," Fox News
personality John Gibson said. "Even before this ruling, you couldn't
hear a Christmas song on the radio or in a department store. I hate to say it,
America, but I told you so."


Judge Stephen Reinhardt of the U.S. 9th Circuit of Appeals issues his
ruling. Gibson then went into hiding, vowing to be a vital part of the
Christmas resistance that would eventually triumph and bring Christmas back to
the United States and its retail stores.

The ban is not limited to the retail sector. In support of Reinhardt's
ruling, Sen. Ted Kennedy, a Jew, introduced legislation that would
mandate the registration of every Christian in the United States and subject
their houses to random searches to ensure they are not celebrating Christmas.

"Getting rid of every wreath or nativity scene is not enough," Kennedy
said. "In order to ensure that Americans of every belief feel comfortable in
any home or business, we must eliminate all traces of this offensive
holiday. My yellow belly quakes with fear at the thought of offending any
foreigners, atheists, or child molesters."

America's children are bearing the brunt of Reinhardt's marginal,
activist rulings.

"Why did the bad man take away Christmas?" 5-year-old Danny Dover said.
"I
made a card for my mommy out of paper and glue, and now I can't give it
to her."

Shortly after Dover issued his statement, police kicked down his door,
removed his holiday tree, confiscated his presents, and crushed his
homemade card underfoot.

A broad, bipartisan coalition of lawmakers has been working closely
with the White House, banding together in the hope of somehow overruling the
decision. So far, however, their efforts have been fruitless.

"Our hearts go out to the Americans this ruling affects," Sen. Chip
Pickering (R-MS) said. "If it's any condolence, I wish you all a Happy
Holidays, which, I'm afraid, is all I'm legally allowed to say at this
time." © Copyright 2005, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.The Onion is not
intended for readers under 18 years of age.

 

 

Tulsa, Oklahoma Centennial Celebration

I thought this was interesting....

 

*************************************

Mon Dec 12, 9:01 PM ET

TULSA, Okla. - A Plymouth Belvedere that was buried in a concrete vault nearly 50 years ago as part of the state's golden anniversary celebration will be unearthed in 2007 as part of the Oklahoma centennial festivities.

The 1957 Belvedere is underground next to the Tulsa County Courthouse. Also buried with it were five gallons of gas and a case of beer.

 

Old news reports indicate the gas was buried in case internal combustion engines became obsolete by 2007 and no fuel was available. Other buried items include the contents of a woman's purse: 14 bobby pins, a lipstick, a pack of gum, tissues, a pack of cigarettes and matches and $2.43.

 

There was also an unpaid parking ticket, a bottle of tranquilizers and a spool of microfilm, which records the entries of a contest held to determine the winner of the car. The person to guess Tulsa's population in 2007 or the heirs of that person were to win the car and a $100 savings account.

 

Assuming an average annual interest of 5 percent compounded quarterly, such an account would be worth almost $1,200 today, if the account could be found.

 

The account was set up at a savings and loan that was taken over by Sooner Federal, which was liquidated during the savings and loan bust of the early 1990s. The committee has been trying to find the account, so far without success.

 

It's not clear exactly how the items were prepared for burial, or how they may have held up for all these years.

 

The Tulsa Historical Society and the centennial committee have been getting inquiries from all over the world about the car, including one from a Scandinavian who claims to have an exact twin of the buried Belvedere.

The Basics of the MkIV GTI

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Can customer service be too good???

Hey folks.

 

Don't get me going about the customer service with cell phone companies.  I've tried most of the companies out there at one time or another and had nothing but bad luck with all of them but one. Sprint is my company of choice.  They've always been good to me even when I'm an idiot. 

 

Today I got a phone call from them.  The called for the sole purpose of thanking me for paying my bill.  What the hell is up with that???  I know it is a rare and beautiful thing that I actually pay my bills, but golly sarge, it isn't THAT rare a thing.  It wasn't even a recording.  It was a live person.  I almost want to quit their service just so I can tell them that their people are too polite and nice for me.  That confuses and disorients me. 

 

Love,

 

Pete

 

What to do in Seattle when you're bored....

Uhhhmmmmm I'm not sure how to comment on this....

 

*************************************

Wednesday, November 30, 2005 · Last updated 7:02 p.m. PT

Man pleads guilty in horse-sex case

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

SEATTLE -- A man has pleaded guilty to trespassing in connection with a fatal horse-sex case.

James Michael Tait, 54, of Enumclaw, was accused of entering a barn without the owner's permission. Tait admitted to officers that he entered a neighboring barn last July with friend Kenneth Pinyan to have sex with a horse, charging papers said. Tait was videotaping the episode when Pinyan suffered internal injuries that led to his death.

Tait pleaded guilty Tuesday and was given a one-year suspended sentence, a $300 fine, and ordered to perform eight hours of community service and have no contact with the neighbors.

The prosecutor's office said no animal cruelty charges were filed because there was no evidence of injury to the horses.

*************************************

Okay, I lied.  I can't just let this hang out there.

What do you think the guy's funeral was like?  What were people thinking as they sat in the church?  What did the preacher say about him?  What did they put on his grave stone?  "A loving farmer who died while loving" and they just left off the "his neighbor's horse" part for decency stake?  What was the chit chat at the local farmers coop like the day after? 

At least there wasn't any injury to the horses. 

That brings back the wise words of Janine Garafalo, "It's okay to love your pets.  It's not okay to "love" your pets."

Have a nice day. :D

Pete

 

 

 

 

How a Geek prepares for Dyno Day...

Oy oy.

 

After the last dyno day, it was pretty obvious that I had some serious fueling issues.  I am in the rare, but enviable position of having too much fuel delivery. My a/f ratio dipped into the 9s -- about the only way my car will get into the 9s unless I'm running an 1/8 mile dragstrip. ;)

 

The other bit of good news is that I've got plenty that I can do to get things tuned properly.  Here's how it all played out:

 

1)  The easiest thing to do when you have too much fuel and not enough air is to add more air.  I've got 2 charger pulleys that are smaller than the one I was running last weekend.  I ran the 68mm (15psi) pulley on Saturday.  I've got a 65mm (17psi) pulley that I installed last night, a 62mm pulley (19psi) and a 58mm pulley (21+psi).  I'm not going to run either of the smallest pulleys because they would require me to limit the RPMs at which I peak so that I'd have to shift before the head flow was maxed out.  While I'd probably get more horsepower and torque, it would be only stuff I could use on the dyno. Drivability would suffer. 

 

Eventually I'll put a Lysholm charger on this thing.  Hopefully I'll do that this winter.  Once broken in, that charger can comfortably put out 20+ psi all day long.  If the A/F is right, then the bottom end can take that kind of boost without a problem. 

 

2.  Leaner Chip:  When SNS sent me my Stage V+ chip, they sent me three chips.  The idea is to install the richest one and check the A/F.  If all is well, then go to the middle chip and check the a/f.  If that still shows up rich, dance a happy dance, drop in the leanest chip and check the A/F.  Last weekend was on the middle chip.  I installed the leanest chip on Tuesday night.

 

3.  Lean the mixture.  VWs of that vintage used a CO Potentiameter to test the fuel mixture.  The signal from the CO-Pot tells the ECU how much air is going by and an idea of its composition.  By adjusting the resistance in the CO-Pot, you can adjust the signal that is sent to the ECU.  More resistance = leaner mixture.  This is an adjustment that you can do on the dyno.  It takes only a moment with a volt meter and a flathead screwdriver.  I set it at 600ohms and I can go as high as 800 before the ECU reads "out of range" and assumes that the CO-Pot is dead.  (500 is the stock setting). 

 

4.  Add Timing:  While this isn't an ideal way to deal with excess fuel, it is something that you can do when you've got too much fuel.  If you've done all of the above and your still running a little rich, you can run a little more timing.  This will use a little of that fuel and adjust your performance accordingly.  Normally as you increase timing advance on a G60, you lose a little low end torque and gain a bit of high end horsepower.  I'm not really sure if I like that trade-off.  Torque is fun.  It is a good way to take up a little extra fuel. 

 

Stock timing for a G60 is 6 degrees of advance in relation to top dead center.  I currently have it set at +10BTDC.  Again, I can adjust this while the car is on the dyno.  I'll just use the adjustable timing pulley. :D

 

Last week I knew I was running rich.  When I got on the boost, I was easlily 6 bisquits into the rich part of the dial on the A/F meter.  After the changes this week, I'm running 1-2 bisquits in the rich.  I've got potential to run it leaner than that if I need to.  

 

We'll see how it runs this weekend. 

 

Take care,

 

Pete

 

Don't hug your children... Let your computer do it for you.

I saw this on the Reuter's news service this morning:

****************************************

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Singapore scientists looking for ways to transmit the sense of touch over the Internet have devised a vibration jacket for chickens and are thinking about electronic children's pyjamas for cyberspace hugs.

A wireless jacket for chickens or other pets can be controlled with a computer and gives the animal the feeling of being touched by its owner, researchers at Nanyang Technological University (NTU) told Monday's edition of The Straits Times.

The next step would be to use the same concept to transmit hugs over the Internet, it said.

"These days, parents go on a lot of business trips, but with children, hugging and touching are very important," the paper quoted NTU Associate Professor Adrian David Cheok as saying.

NTU is thinking of a pyjama suit for children, which would use the Internet to adjust changes in pressure and temperature to simulate the feeling of being hugged. Parents wearing a similar suit could be "hugged" back by their children, the paper said.

****************************************

 

Okay, lets go a step further.  They've got a way that you can hug your chicken via computer.  I'm wondering if they can invent something to choke it?

 

Love,

 

Pete

My new favorite t-shirt...

I can't wait till payday! I need to order myself one of THESE!!!!



Have a nice day.

Pete

The Code of Silence: Volume 2

I can't believe I'm back here again.  Just when I think I've progressed beyond toilet humor in my blog (and moved on to pirates, transvestites and farm animals), I'm right back there. 

 

All of the things related in this entry took place at an undisclosed location.  The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

 

I've written a time or two about the code of silence when you're in a public restroom.  American men are just not chatty when they're pissing or taking a crap. It doesn't actually bother me to be chatty, but I have found that pretty much everyone else that I've ever encountered in a restroom generally don't start chatting until the zipper is zipped up.  Occasionally they'll even wait for the belt to be buckled.  Sometimes not until you're out of the bathroom entirely. 

 

So I'm standing at a urinal and doing what a guy does while standing in front of a urinal when I hear a voice behind me. 

 

The Voice:  "Pete.  Have you lost weight?"  (It is coming from the bathroom stall immediately behind me.)

 

Me being me, I have to be a smartass.

 

Me (Still peeing):  "Well I am right now."

 

The Voice:  "Hahahaha... No.  I was talking about in the time that we've known each other."  (I still don't know who this is for sure, but I'm getting some clues).

 

Me(Still peeing): "Gosh, how long have we known each other?"  (Hoping he throws me a lifeline here.... a figurative one.  There's no need to break the code of contact (another topic for another day)).

 

The Voice:  "Its been *pause* about 2 years or so."  (The pause was punctuated by sounds that you might imagine coming from a bathroom stall).

 

Me (I really had to go bad... I'm still peeing):  "I guess I've lost about 25 pounds in that amount of time."

 

The Voice:  "You look good man.  You don't have that hollowed out face look that some people get when they lose too much weight."

 

Me (Finishing up and trying to do so quickly -- I remember the last time this happened and the awkwardness that arose from a proffered handshake before hands were washed):  "Uhhmmmm Thanks."

 

The Voice: "Do you feel the difference?"

 

Me (Done, zipped up and getting ready to wash my hands): "I do every time I get low in the pants drawer and all I've got are old ones." (Dispensing towels and heading to the door).  "See you later."

 

The Voice:  "Nice *pause with other sounds* talking to you."

 

That was the end of that.  You know, I don't honestly feel that additional commentary is necessary.  This conversation speaks for itself. 

 

Have a nice day!

 

Pete

 

 

 

 

 

Parent/Teacher Conferences.

My friend Kwan has a rather boisterous son.  He's 5 and kind of a chip off the old block, so to speak.  Yesterday was Parent/Teacher conferences.  When I asked Kwan about it, this was his response:

 

"Ty is not going to be the next Einstein, but at least he's not biting people anymore."

 

That was just too funny not to blog about it.  :D

 

Pete

 

Piratesexuals....

Three things happened this week that inspired me to coin a new term.  From the subject of this post, you can imagine what that term is.  I'd like to talk about the inspiration first, because it would be completely against my ethos to get directly to the point that I want to make. ;)

 

First:  A friend who reads my blog knows my afinity for all things piratey.  He sent me THIS link to a local bike sale.  Well that started a few interesting discussions at work.

 

Second:  Some people in the office were teasing the guy in the cube across from me about being the ultimate metrosexual.  (From Wikipedia: Metrosexual is a term coined in 1994 (along with the noun, metrosexuality) by British journalist Mark Simpson, who used it to refer to an urban male of any sexual orientation who has a strong aesthetic sense and spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.)

 

Third (and probably most importantly):  I STILL haven't recovered from this year's "Talk like a pirate day". 

 

That's when I figured it out...   I'm a piratesexual.  It is a term used to refer to an urban dweller of any sexual orientation who has a strong aesthetic for all things piratey and the vocabulary to go along with it.  Since I don't often actually dress like a pirate, I guess I'm a closet piratesexual. 

 

This probably isn't an earth shattering realization for me or anyone who knows me.  It is, however, the first step for me to embrace my piratesexuality.  What's next?  I need to get a parrot and an eyepatch.  (Insert rude and disgusting peg leg comments here -- I know you're thinking them!) ;) Maybe Mike will loan me one of his birds for a photo shoot.  ;)

 

I guess that's it.  I'll explore my piratesexuality in the years to come and see what comes of it. 

 

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I'm off to swab the poop deck.

 

Pete

 

 

God bless horsepower and boost!

Hey guys.

 

If you're pressed for time or not drunk enough to read one of my e-mails, jump down to the ********** near the bottom.  You'll get the whole story and you won't have to read a lot of bullshit.   

 

I had a few hours this morning to work on the Corrado.  My normal day with the Corrado (when I've only got a few hours to work) goes something like this:

 

1.  Start fixing some small thing that should only take an hour. 

2.  Find at least 3 more thing that need to be fixed.

3.  Spend one hour each on each of the three things, plus the original thing that I was working on.

4.  Go to start the car.  It won't start.

5.  Swear a lot.

6.  Spend 1 hour taking stuff apart to plug in the one harness that I forgot when the car was completely dismantled. 

7.  Find one more thing that needs fixing.  This usually takes only about 30 minutes to fix.

8.  Start the car. 

9.  Dance a happy dance because it started, but be a little dissappointed because though it is running better, it still isn't running as well as it should. 

 

In the end it took me 6 hours to do a 1 hour job. 

 

Today wasn't one of those days. 

 

I had 4 hours to work.  I knew the things I wanted to do would take 2 hours.  I started them anyways. 

 

I replaced the injector wiring harness that I've been waiting on for quite some time.  While I was in there, I put the 315CC injectors back in.  (I had a hunch that the stock injectors were not flowing right).  I put that all back together.  Car started on the first turn and revved stronger than I've imagined. 

 

Total time for repair:  1 hour 35 min.  WTF? 

 

Time to change the chip and replace the boost line that goes from the throttle body to the ECU.  I'd allotted an hour for this, though I thought it might take less.  There are some tight areas in there that I need to reach into. 

 

It took me less than an hour to do both. 

 

That leaves me some quality time to spend going for a test drive. 

 

Sweet mother of all things that burn rubber!!!!  The Corrado is running faster than it ever has.  The new chip is unbelievable.  The injectors are perfect for feeding the beast.  Gone is the *BLATT* of the exhaust.  It has been replaced with a really great sounding *ROARRRRRRRR* 

 

I've still got time left to work.  :D  I'm going to clean the air filter, wash it, sand and prime for a few, then call call it a day.  Hopefully I'll be able to drive it to Ara's house for the party tonight.

 

As usual.  I've successfully managed to write a freaking novel of an e-mail.  

 

Sorry to waste half your day reading it. 

 

********** The Corrado wasn't running great.  I fixed it.  It freaking hauls ass now. 

 

Pete

 

Adventures in Fiberglass....

I have a new favorite holiday.  Fiberglass Day!   Though I wish it were a national holiday so that everyone could enjoy it, for now it will have to be my own personal holiday. 

 

I can already hear you now, "What the hell are you talking about, Pete????"

 

I took yesterday off to work on my car.  I've got a GREAT subwoofer for my car stereo, but it was designed with accoustic quality and durability in mind with little or no thought for how it looked or how heavy it was.  I didn't really feel how heavy it was until I upgraded the suspension on the GTI.  That made it so that I pretty much had to upgrade the sub enclosure. 

 

The sub placement I've got now is perfect.  I wanted to try and keep that if I could.  The shape and size of the box really made the bass tight and powerful.  It is the best of both worlds.  If I'm listening to something that is technically challenging to reproduce in a car (classical, jazz or some electronic music), I have a program for that equalization so that I can enjoy the music.  If I want to put on some Black Eyed Peas and assault the neighborhood with some booming bass, the sub will handle that too.  As I said above, the problem is that the sub is ugly and heavy. 

 

In an attempt to make a box with similar characteristics, I designed something that would work very well, but be challenging to form.  Because of my needs and the desire for strength in certain specific areas, I decided that a hybrid fiberglass/MDF box would work best.  I don't know too many people that build like this, so I was kind of going out on my own.  MDF is great accoustically.  It just stinks because it is heavy.  Fiberglass is light, but isn't as accoustically perfect as MDF.  I spent all day yesterday working on building a frame upon which to drape the fiberglass. 

 

My other constraint is that I have very little money for this project.  My goal was to build a sub enclosure with either stuff that I've already got, or things I could get cheaply.  My budget for this entire project was $30.  I had resin and hardener.  I also had a pretty good amount of  fiberglass cloth.  I got 2 sheets of prepeg for $14 each.  I needed hot glue sticks.  I barely made the budget... though if you add in tax, I guess I blew it by a buck or two. 

 

I'd found a place that sells prepeg fiberglass.  This is fiberglass with the resin already impregnated into the cloth.  The resin hasn't been activated yet, so the cloth is still flexible.  This is used in places where you've got some difficult fabrication to do.  Prepeg allows you to form things first, glue the fiberglass to the frame, then activate the resin and it gives you a base coat of fiberglass.  You then can remove part or all of the framing and add additional fiberglass where you need more strength. 

 

This plan worked well in some ways, not so well in others.  I wasn't happy with how the prepeg fit on the form.  It really didn't feel right and wasn't flexible enough to make the kinds of shapes I wanted.  I figured I'd fill in with regular fiberglass when I got the shape I wanted.  The other problem was that I ran out of time.  I didn't realize how late it was and how cold it had gotten before I activated the resin on the prepeg.  It was too cold and the resin didn't set up properly. 

 

The end result is that I learned a lot and I'm going to start over.  I tossed the prepeg idea.  It wasn't designed for the kind of things I wanted to do with it.  I also tossed the idea of starting with a technically perfect box.  I'm going to basically smash the box I created and come up with something simpler and less accoustically perfect.  It will be substantially lighter though.  That is always important. 

 

I'll post up when I get something worth looking at.

 

Pete

 

 

 

The Passive/Aggressive diet and conducting sales conference calls on the crapper.

That subject caught your eye, didn't it?  Lets see if I can link all this stuff together. 

 

When I feel down in the dumps, I go on a passive/aggressive diet.  I try to be really good and eat healthy stuff.  Inevitably all the good intentions catch up with me and I end up pigging out on something horrible for me.  Today is a perfect example.  I went downstairs to get lunch and went to a deli that has damn good salads.  I got a chop salad with a variety of fresh veggies and some chicken on top with fat free dressing.  Tastes good and it isn't too bad for me.  Unfortunately I had to wait for two friends to get their lunch in order to walk back to the office for a normal rowdy group lunch.  The wait is what killed me.  There's this damn pretzel place right by the exit to the food court.  They've got cute girls selling these disgusting food items that smell really good.  Dr. Einstein decided that I was being too virtuous by only eating a salad, so I got a pretzel dog to go with the salad.  YUMMY!

 

(STick with me, this is all going to tie in very quickly...)

 

As you might expect, the pretzel dog didn't really agree with me that well.  (You should have known this was coming).  I have had a few semi-extended stays in "my other office" as the bathroom has been renamed. 

 

What the heck is it with people doing business in the bathroom????  I can see how you might strike up a conversation with people while on break from a sales meeting.  That conversation might continue into the bathroom (making sure not to break the male code of silence while doing basic bodily functions). 

 

On three occasions today, I was happily reading a magazine, taking care of my kind of business, when someone either started a conference call or participated in a conference call while pissing or crapping.  What the heck is up with that???  I can't imagine people can't hear the pissing or at least the flushing, much less that distinctive echo that just screams "public bathroom!".  Visions of the diarrhea twins from Harold and Kumar come to mind.  "Wait, wait.... Here it is!"  and "You sunk my battle shit!".

 

Now I've got even bigger problems.  Every time I'm involved in a conference call from here on out, I'm going to be imagining that EVERONE else who is on the line is really conducting the call from a bathroom stall.  Any extranious noise is going to be thought the worst of.  I'm going to make sure to schedule conveference calls BEFORE lunch instead of after. 

 

Okay.  That's the end of my freakish rant. 

 

Have a nice day!

 

Love,

 

Pete

Now I won the Italian Lottery!!!

I love these e-mails.  I can't wait to collect all the big money from my Italian and Portuguese Lotto wins.  :D

 

Pete

Saved by an idiot: Part III, The Reformation

I thought I was a changed man.  Having two instances in two weeks where the only things between me and really nasty speeding ticket were two drivers whose transgressions and timing were much worse than mine. 

 

This morning on the way into the office, I'm just going with the flow of traffic.  I'm doing around 55mph -- the same speed as everyone else.  I'm about 3rd or 4th in a line of cars and I'm not tailgating.  There are folks all around me and we're all just making our way to work. 

 

A stop light splits our group in two.  I'm the first in the line to not make the light.  I'm sitting there minding my own business when it dawns on me that this is a golden opportunity to enjoy the wonders of boost.  It is in the low 40s outside.  That is perfect for performance cars because they like the cold, dense air.  This is especially true for cars with turbos.  The light turns green and I accelerate away.  I didn't squeak the tires, but I did move away from the light rather quickly.  I shift into second and chirp the wheels a little.  I let off not long after because I'm approaching 55mph.  I shift form 2nd to 5th and just tool along in the low 50s.  I'm out in front of everyone by 100 meters or so, but I'm not speeding like a madman or anthing.  Officer Bob doesn't really see it that way though.  He pulls out from his hiding place in the trees on the frontage road and begins to accelerate. 

 

Now I'm not really sure that he's after me or anything, but after two instances, I'm assuming he is.  I really didn't do anything illegal except for speeding.  If he clocked me, he might have gotten me at 52 or 53, but I don't think it would have been anything more.  It isn't great that I accelerated hard away form the light, but as long as I didn't swerve or smoke the tires or anything and there was no-one in the lane next to me doing the same thing, I can't see that I've done anything extremely criminal.

 

I back it down to 45 and move to the right lane in case he wants to nab me.  I'm not really pulling to the side like I was getting ready to in Parts I and II -- I'm just being law abiding and making it easy for him to pull me over if he wants to.  Basically I'm behaving like I'm guilty. ;)

 

That's when my third miracle of the month happens.  Some chick in a minivan doesn't realize that the guy that just pulled out in front of her is a cop.  He didn't pull RIGHT out in front of her, but she probably had to have her day inconvenienced a bit by having to take her foot off the stupid pedal in order to tap the brakes.  She then proceeds to flash her lights on and off and honk her horn long and loud.  She accelerates onto the cop's back bumper and flashes her lights... tailgating him --- still leaning on her horn in a long, continuous blast.  That's when the lights came on.  All I saw was her and the cop getting smaller in my rear view mirror as I tool off down Rt. 50 on my way to work -- Saved by an idiot again.

 

Kinda makes you wonder what tomorrow's drive is going to be like, Eh?  ;)

 

Pete

 

Saved by an idiot: Part II, The Awakening.

Last week I had a rude awakening.  My morning commute usually starts a little before 6am and I'm usually in the office by 6:10.  That is the only way that I can beat traffic and not have my commute take 45 minutes each way.  I really like having the extra time to work on car projects or go for a mountain bike ride in the afternoons.  Getting off work at 3pm is definitely a plus. 

 

The other added benefit has been the lack of police patrolling on Rt. 50 through Arlington.  At 6am, there's a few cars on the road, but I've never seen a cop.  I don't mean never in the figurative way... like you see one now and then, but mostly you don't.  I mean that I had literally NEVER seen a police officer out at that hour of the morning. 

 

Can you tell where this story is leading? 

 

Rt. 50 is a 45mph zone from my house all the way to DC.  The flow of traffic is usually going 55 if the stop lights aren't making us slow down.  As usual, I'm blending with traffic and slowly working my way up to the front of the lines.  JUST as I pull to the left lane to make my way past a guy in a pickup truck that must be sleepy because he's barely keeping it between the lines, BLAMMO!  There's a cop in front of me and I swear he's just nailed me.  I'm kicking myself for doing almost the same damn thing that I talked about in Part I.  I slow down a bit and pull to the right.  The cop is pulling out as I'm JUST getting to a spot to pull into the right lane.  His lights are about to go on when this guy in a Dodge Magnum decides to prove that his car indeed has a hemi in it.  He's too impatient to be behind me as I slow down to get pulled over.  The Magnum flies out of the right lane and flies across the middle lane into the right and absolutely guns it.  He's got to be doing over 70 by the time the cop flips his lights on. 

 

Mana from heaven.... I'm forgotten again.  I'm now much wiser.  I'm not going to let anything like this happen again.  Right????

 

Pete

 

 

 

Saved by an idiot: Part 1, The Enlightening.

It has been almost two weeks since I had this experience.  I just haven't had the time or mood to write. 

 

It is really hard to keep either of my two cars at or under the speed limit.  I tend to go with the flow and maybe work my way through traffic by going a little faster than the general flow.  I don't zip around like a loonie most of the time.  Using this technique has managed to keep me from getting a single speeding ticket in the last 7 or 8 years.  Driving something as audibly loud as the Corrado or visibly loud as the GTI, that is a small wonder.

 

I honestly thought that the instance I'm about to describe was the end of this small wonder. 

 

I was driving East on I-66 on my way back to DC from Front Royal, Virginia.  It was an area that is rarely patrolled by police officers and everyone is driving at least 80mph.  As usual, I'm going along with the flow... not much faster.  Some people slow down, so I accellerate a little and pull around them.  That's when I see WHY they slowed down.  There was a cop right there with his radar gun hanging out the window.  He was behind a bridge abuttment and was zapping people from behind.  I saw him flip the lights on and pull out into traffic.  I slowed down and moved to the right lane... I knew I was nabbed.  I was probably doing 82 or 83 in a 65 mph zone.  It wasn't THAT bad, because everyone else was doing 80, but it wasn't good either. 

 

Something truly amazing happend.  As I'm slowing down, getting myself mentally ready for a HUGE ticket and all the joy that comes with it, a guy in a BMW gets impatient with everyone slowing down, downshifts and floors it.  He zips across 2 lanes of traffic onto the left side shoulder and passes us all between traffic and the jersey wall doing at least 90.  His timing couldn't have been more perfect.  The cop took one look at him and completely forgot about me. :D

 

I kept it below 75mph the rest of the way home. I considered myself damn lucky that I didn't get nailed. 

 

As the subject implies... there is more to come in this saga. 

 

Tune in later.

 

Pete

 

 

Bike content....

From interbike last month, someone posted up a bunch of stuff that I thought was pretty dang amazing. 

 

Craig Calfee has been making some of the most amazing carbon fiber bikes I've ever seen.  A few years ago, he started playing with bamboo.  Scottie and I bounced a few photos and comments about them after last year's framebuilding seminar that Scottie went to.  Well Mr. Calfee has built a bike that is close to my heart....  A bamboo mountain bike tandem. 

 

HERE is the photo.

 

HERE is the article. 

 

Pretty freaking amazing if you ask me.  I just want to know where to order one.  And better yet, what the winning lotto numbers are for me to afford the damn thing. ;) 

 

Love,

 

PEte

A different kind of benefit...

Okay, i was reading the Beer.com mailer (they've got a new beer.com girl!!!)  and this part of it struck me as funny.  

 

Boobs for Bourbon Street

Help Hurricane Katrina victims by looking at boobs -- a win-win situation.
GO!

 

I just thought you'd want to know.  

 

Pete

I won the Portuguese Lotto AGAIN!!!!

I just received an e-mail telling me that I won the Portuguese Lotto.  This is the third time I've won and I've never even entered!!!  I'm still working out how to collect my winnings. 

 

Hoopie!

 

Pete

Finally back on the bike for a tougher ride.

After touristing and car show geeking Saturday, I needed a long, technical mountain bike ride to round out the weekend. 

 

Elizabeth Furnace was the ride of choice.  I went with the MORE group and had fun going back and forth photographing folks as they bounced off the rocks and switchbacks.  I'll get that stuff posted up tonight.  It was definitely a fun ride. 

 

Thanks for leading, Chris.  It was fun lunching at the Apple House with y'all.  After eating 3 entrees, I wasn't ready for dinner till almost 9pm.  ;)

 

Pete

 

Mid-Atlantic Mega Meet: The Benefit for Hurricane Victims

Greetings. 

 

As you read below, Saturday started out in a mellow, historical way.  It ended with a bit more excitement.  Mega Meet is put on each month by a group that supports the sport compact car community.  It does a bunch of things.  On one level it gives kids a place to hang out where they won't be chased off.  It gives them an alternative to street racing or loitering somewhere where they will be chased off.  More importantly it gives people a chance to see some amazing cars and meet people who enjoy wrenching, customizing and driving as much as the next guy.  There are reps from different manufacturers and tuners there as well as a boatload of unique and interesting cars.  Did I mention the girls?  Shame on me.  They have plenty of those too. ;)

 

It was a target-rich environment for a photographer that enjoys a lively car scene. 

 

 

There are highlights to every meet.  The Mega Meets tend to bring out some amazing cars that you don't often see around here.  Amongst the Nissan Skylines, Toyota Soarers, Hachi Roku and even an Ultima GTR there was a little, white Datsun 510 that got my eye.  Click on the photo above.  You'll scroll through and find the photos of my favorite cars. 

 

Thanks to Aya for her patience as I photographed her.  She looked beautiful while I'm sure she was getting really cold.  Thanks to all the sponsors and organizers of the Mega Meets.  I'll be out again next month.

 

Pete

 

 

Working on becoming a REAL Southerner.

La and I needed a day out.  We grabbed a map, picked a historic site that had a place to eat and hit the road.  We ended up at Stratford Plantation, birthplace of Robert E. Lee on the Northern Neck of Virginia.  We'd been there before, but the place was half closed up since we were there in January. 

 

We toured the museum and walked the grounds and made our way to the dining room.  We were the first ones there to dig into the lunch buffet.  It was made up of good, southern cooking.  Corn pudding, bisquits and country ham, baked beans and fried chicken.  All of the food was made on site and it was delicious!!!  We ate like it was Thanksgiving Day. 

 

We walked down to the old mill on the banks of the Potomac to work off some lunch.  The mill wasn't open, but it still made for some great photos.  I'll post them up soon. 

 

We walked back past the Spring House.  It is a small brick building in the woods that has water circulating through it to create a primative form of air conditioning.  It was designed to help preserve food.  We walked in and it was definitely cool in there. 

 

Up at the Grand House they were preparing for a wedding.  We walked the gardens, said "Hi" to the goat that stands on top of its house, then hit the road heading for home. 

 

It was a fun and historic day.  It was nice to slow down and smell the flowers for a change.

 

Pete

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bugatti Veyron.... My new car!!! (or not)

 Dudes!  
  
I just got the new issue of CAR magazine.  It has
 the Bugatti Veyron on the cover.  It comes with a
 quad turbo charged W16 motor and all wheel drive. 
It is conservatively rated at 1001hp at the crank
 because that is all they could measure.  They
 estimate it at closer to 1100 hp.  The tires are
 hand made in Michelin's F1 tire making facility. 

The article was written by a guy who got to ride
 shotgun during the road testing.  They were in
 Germany driving on the autobahn.  They never got it
 into 7th gear because every time they got it up to
 215mph (just below the shift point), they had to
 slow down for some dumbass in an AMG c55 or M5 who
 was putting along at 155mph. 

 

They've got it up to
 254mph on the track.... and there's still more speed
 there.  When you hit the brakes at those speeds, it
 deploys the air brake (a spoiler that increases wind
 resistance) before clamping the brake calipers.  The
 air brake is capable of .6g of braking force on its
 own.  It takes 4 radiators to cool the
  motor. 

 

When you put it into "Speed" mode
 (suggested for speeds over 215mph), it closes most
 of the front vents and openings, lowers and flattens
 the rear wing (to provide zero lift up front and
 40kg downforce in back) and lowers the suspension by
 25mm. 

 

When in "Handling" mode (recommended for
 courses that involve turns where you won't be
 exceeding 220mph) the wings adjust to add 150kg
 downforce in the front and 200kg in the back. 

0-62mph takes 2.5 seconds. 

0-125mph takes 7.3  seconds. 

0-188mph takes 16 seconds. 

0-250mph takes  55 seconds.  
  
I'm not exactly sure what the exchange rate is, but
 off the top of my head, the price tag is about
 $1.4million.   
  
The car should be released by the end of October.  
  
I wonder if you can get snow tires for it?

Bugatti Veyron part 2...

 

 

Problems that they had with the design....

 

Initially they couldn't get fuel pumps to supply enough fuel at the right pressure to run the motor at more than 650 horsepower.  They had to completely design the fuel pumps from the ground up.  At regular cruising speeds (under 125mph) it gets as much as 16mpg.  At full throttle doing performance runs, the mileage drops down to less than 2.5mpg.  When you consider that it can easily go 4 miles per minute, that means you're draining a 20 gallon tank would completely drain in 12 1/2 minutes.  They had to put big gas tanks on it too. 

 

The driveshafts created problems for them.  Traditional drive shafts use rubber CV boots.  Under the severe stresses that this car puts out, the boots would expand, rub on some suspension part, rupture and the drive shaft would run dry and wear out almost instantly.  They don't discuss how that problem was solved. 

 

Brembo brakes were incapable of stopping it.  They went to 400mm front brake rotors, 380mm rear rotors (all ceramic) and used AP 8-piston front and 6-piston rear calipers. 

 

The tires are another amazing story.  Tires soft enough to be drivable around town and on lower speed (under 125mph) road courses would build too much heat and delaminate at the kinds of speed this car can attain.  Tires strong enough to handle 254mph and more would be undrivable at lower speeds.  They compromised.  They have a system where the tires run at 3bar (43.5psi) of air pressure in the city, and when they get up to speed, they automatically increase air pressure to 3.7bar (53.65psi). 

 

The successors to the Veyron is already in the works. After all the work on the engine and drivetrain, they want to be able to use it in other applications.  They're working on a lighter weight version that isn't wed to a design that was initally done for aesthetics instead of aerodynamics.  They'd also like to do a front engine/AWD sedan or saloon car with that drivetrain. 

 

Is there any wonder why I love this thing so much?  I'm such a geek and so is the car. 

 

Pete

An interesting and sad story....

Oy oy.

 

I was reading VW Vortex last night and found something funny and sad.  VW of Germany brought over two 2006 VW GTIs to American to tour as demo cars for the much anticipated release of the MkV GTI in America.   This is going to be a dang cool car.  2.0L turbo with direct port injection and a pretty tight 6 speed or paddle shifted auto. 

 

Both of the vehicles were right hand drive cars.  As far as I know, they are the only ones available right now. 

 

VW Springfield (my second least favorite car dealership in the entire world) was to play host to these vehicles for a week or so in order to show them off and maybe have some people drive them. 

 

The 6-speed met its death at the hands of one of the sales managers at VW Springfield.  He wasn't used to driving a right hand drive car and rather than driving it mellow until he was used to it, he decided to put it through its paces. 

 

BIG MISTAKE!!

 

When shifing up through the gears, he was at red line in second gear and shifted into 1st instead of 3rd.  Valves met pistons and hyjinks insued.  I can only imagine the amount of mangled engine parts that were spit out the bottom of that car.  I can only imagine the conversation between the sales guy and his boss.... and the guys from Germany who brought the car over. 

 

See y'all later.

 

PEte

 

 

 

The painted bumper....

Here's what my car looks like with the bumper painted. 

 

Click HERE for the photo.

 

Have a great weekend.

 

Pete

 

Yesterday's Corrado progress -- AKA Work like the wind!

SHUT UP WITH THE CAR STUFF ALREADY!  I thought you were a mountain bike guy! 

 

It is a good sign when you talk to yourself in your own blog.  Since I'm the main person that reads this, I guess that could be said about most of my posts. ;)

 

Anywhoo.  I did get a few photos up of the work that I did Wednesday.  You can click HERE and HERE to see what things looked like yesterday morning. 

 

Last night was going to be a short session.  I had a lot of work to get done and I just resolved myself to the fact that I was going to get started and then leave the car in pieces in order to make it to Wakefield in time to ride. 

 

NOT SO!

 

I was a freaking machine last night.  I stopped at Home Depot*** and picked up the sheet metal screws that I needed and was home before 4pm.  That gave me almost 2 hours to work.  I had the heat lamps set up the night before because I was out working after dark.  I backed the car way up so I wouldn't get any overspray on it, then sanded, cleaned and painted the bumper.  I turned on the heat lamps and baked it.  I stopped once during the other repair processes to put another coat of paint on.  

 

I had a tiny leak in the power steering system.  The belt was making all kinds of noises too.  Upon close inspection, it looks like there was a leak where the high pressure hose meets the pump.  I removed the hose, replaced the gasket, then put it back together again.  I adjusted the accessory belt thanks to Doug at the Corrado Club of Canada web site.  (Sorry about all the Canadian jokes that they put on South Park.  I feel guilty that I laughed at most of them after you guys did a great Corrado web site)  I added some fluid and cycled it through a few times.  I added more fluid once the bubbles had worked their way out. 

 

Anywho... My steering issues are GONE!  The power steering is great and quiet too.  I did notice that I've got a small oil leak from the oil pan.  I guess it is time for that finned aluminum oil pan with windage tray like the one Les put on his Corrado.  (Deep down inside I really want to be Les Noriel when I grow up). 

 

I checked the bumper and it was dry enough to install.  I made sure that I was wearing gloves.  I got the bumper back on, bolted it in place, shot the new hardware with a squirt of black paint so it doesn't stand out as much and then drove the car up in front of the heat lamps.  I left the car parked there while I went to Wakefield for a ride.

 

I arrived at Wakefield with 6 minutes to spare.  I behaved like an ass (as usual) and annoyed Craig (Something I try hard to do, but usually don't succeed at).  I tried like hell to ride.  Craig was extra cool and took the fast group.  Chris, Kathy and Janie and I went for a casual stroll around Wakefield.  We did between 4 and 5 miles.  I was just freaking dead.  I've been working on the car so much that I've only been getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep per night.  That doesn't make for a fast or lively ride.  I called it quits early and headed home. 

 

Laura wasn't home yet so I put a dab of caulk along the seams where the side skirts meet the body.  It just smooths out the lines a little.  I'll need to sand that a bit before paint, but it should look good when it is done. 

 

Finally I went to bed at a decent hour.  I talked to Laura for a few, drank the last beer in the house and went to bed by 10pm. 

 

*** My Home Depot Rant.  The Home Depot at 7 corners is HORRIBLE.  Nothing is where it should be and their stock is quite erratic.  You never know if something will be in stock.  I shopped there earlier in the week and had to go to the one in Merrifield because they didn't have half of what I wanted.  Grrrrrrrr.  No more Sniper Home Depot for me.

 

Oh well.  I've babbled way too long.  I guess I've had too much caffeine this morning. ;)

 

See you tomorrow.  You'll like the pics of the bumper when it is fully painted.

 

Pete

 

Time to play bumper cars!!! or not... ;)

Last night was the most fun I've ever had giving myself a major headache and bashing my knuckles.  Not really... I had plenty of fun, but it wasn't that much of a pain. 

 

I finally got to installing the bumper last night.  It wasn't anything like I expected.  The fiberglass bumper stands out 1-2 inches from the rebar.  I thought I'd be able to slather the rebar with Gorilla glue and slap the bumper on.  No such luck! 

 

I ended up fabricating brackets that allowed the bumper to slide in on the side, bolt to the fender liners and bolt to the base of the rebar.  The good thing is that all of these brackets and bots are (for the most part) out of the line of sight. 

 

This is a test fit for right now.  The brackets that I fabricated are not particularly pretty.  I concentrated more on getting the bumper on than on making them nice, smooth, sculpted works of art (Not that anything I do is a work of art).  Tonight before the wakefield ride, I'm going to take the bumper off, shape the brackets with the dremmel, paint them black (and probably the bumper too) then put it all back together again.  It'll be a bit of a rush to get all that done, but I think I've got my routine down well enough that it should go pretty well. 

 

I'll post photos of it then.  It looks like I'll have the bumper done for the euro meet this weekend.  I was hoping to have the car done for H20 in Ocean City.  That will have to wait a year. 

 

If all goes well tomorrow, Friday night I can get back to prepping the main body of the car.  I need to schedule a time that I can get the headliner done.  Maybe that will be the next weekend.  My friend David runs a business doing headliners.  He said he'd do mine for the cost of matterials if I'd pull it out and put it back in.  That is a pretty big deal since there is that freaky sunroof panel to cover.  I wish I had the money for a glass moon roof at this point.  I don't. 

 

I have a bad feeling that my power steering pump is going.  I'm getting belt squeel when I'm turning while going slow.  That means there is some serious resistance on that belt.  I'd rather not spend $250 on a new PS pump.  While I'm down there, I might as well replace the oil pump too. 

 

Sorry to be so mundane.  I promise to be more interesting tomorrow. 

 

Pete