That subject caught your eye, didn't it? Lets see if I can link all this stuff together.
When I feel down in the dumps, I go on a passive/aggressive diet. I try to be really good and eat healthy stuff. Inevitably all the good intentions catch up with me and I end up pigging out on something horrible for me. Today is a perfect example. I went downstairs to get lunch and went to a deli that has damn good salads. I got a chop salad with a variety of fresh veggies and some chicken on top with fat free dressing. Tastes good and it isn't too bad for me. Unfortunately I had to wait for two friends to get their lunch in order to walk back to the office for a normal rowdy group lunch. The wait is what killed me. There's this damn pretzel place right by the exit to the food court. They've got cute girls selling these disgusting food items that smell really good. Dr. Einstein decided that I was being too virtuous by only eating a salad, so I got a pretzel dog to go with the salad. YUMMY!
(STick with me, this is all going to tie in very quickly...)
As you might expect, the pretzel dog didn't really agree with me that well. (You should have known this was coming). I have had a few semi-extended stays in "my other office" as the bathroom has been renamed.
What the heck is it with people doing business in the bathroom???? I can see how you might strike up a conversation with people while on break from a sales meeting. That conversation might continue into the bathroom (making sure not to break the male code of silence while doing basic bodily functions).
On three occasions today, I was happily reading a magazine, taking care of my kind of business, when someone either started a conference call or participated in a conference call while pissing or crapping. What the heck is up with that??? I can't imagine people can't hear the pissing or at least the flushing, much less that distinctive echo that just screams "public bathroom!". Visions of the diarrhea twins from Harold and Kumar come to mind. "Wait, wait.... Here it is!" and "You sunk my battle shit!".
Now I've got even bigger problems. Every time I'm involved in a conference call from here on out, I'm going to be imagining that EVERONE else who is on the line is really conducting the call from a bathroom stall. Any extranious noise is going to be thought the worst of. I'm going to make sure to schedule conveference calls BEFORE lunch instead of after.
Okay. That's the end of my freakish rant.
Have a nice day!
Love,
Pete
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