Don't hug your children... Let your computer do it for you.

I saw this on the Reuter's news service this morning:

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SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Singapore scientists looking for ways to transmit the sense of touch over the Internet have devised a vibration jacket for chickens and are thinking about electronic children's pyjamas for cyberspace hugs.

A wireless jacket for chickens or other pets can be controlled with a computer and gives the animal the feeling of being touched by its owner, researchers at Nanyang Technological University (NTU) told Monday's edition of The Straits Times.

The next step would be to use the same concept to transmit hugs over the Internet, it said.

"These days, parents go on a lot of business trips, but with children, hugging and touching are very important," the paper quoted NTU Associate Professor Adrian David Cheok as saying.

NTU is thinking of a pyjama suit for children, which would use the Internet to adjust changes in pressure and temperature to simulate the feeling of being hugged. Parents wearing a similar suit could be "hugged" back by their children, the paper said.

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Okay, lets go a step further.  They've got a way that you can hug your chicken via computer.  I'm wondering if they can invent something to choke it?

 

Love,

 

Pete

My new favorite t-shirt...

I can't wait till payday! I need to order myself one of THESE!!!!



Have a nice day.

Pete

The Code of Silence: Volume 2

I can't believe I'm back here again.  Just when I think I've progressed beyond toilet humor in my blog (and moved on to pirates, transvestites and farm animals), I'm right back there. 

 

All of the things related in this entry took place at an undisclosed location.  The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

 

I've written a time or two about the code of silence when you're in a public restroom.  American men are just not chatty when they're pissing or taking a crap. It doesn't actually bother me to be chatty, but I have found that pretty much everyone else that I've ever encountered in a restroom generally don't start chatting until the zipper is zipped up.  Occasionally they'll even wait for the belt to be buckled.  Sometimes not until you're out of the bathroom entirely. 

 

So I'm standing at a urinal and doing what a guy does while standing in front of a urinal when I hear a voice behind me. 

 

The Voice:  "Pete.  Have you lost weight?"  (It is coming from the bathroom stall immediately behind me.)

 

Me being me, I have to be a smartass.

 

Me (Still peeing):  "Well I am right now."

 

The Voice:  "Hahahaha... No.  I was talking about in the time that we've known each other."  (I still don't know who this is for sure, but I'm getting some clues).

 

Me(Still peeing): "Gosh, how long have we known each other?"  (Hoping he throws me a lifeline here.... a figurative one.  There's no need to break the code of contact (another topic for another day)).

 

The Voice:  "Its been *pause* about 2 years or so."  (The pause was punctuated by sounds that you might imagine coming from a bathroom stall).

 

Me (I really had to go bad... I'm still peeing):  "I guess I've lost about 25 pounds in that amount of time."

 

The Voice:  "You look good man.  You don't have that hollowed out face look that some people get when they lose too much weight."

 

Me (Finishing up and trying to do so quickly -- I remember the last time this happened and the awkwardness that arose from a proffered handshake before hands were washed):  "Uhhmmmm Thanks."

 

The Voice: "Do you feel the difference?"

 

Me (Done, zipped up and getting ready to wash my hands): "I do every time I get low in the pants drawer and all I've got are old ones." (Dispensing towels and heading to the door).  "See you later."

 

The Voice:  "Nice *pause with other sounds* talking to you."

 

That was the end of that.  You know, I don't honestly feel that additional commentary is necessary.  This conversation speaks for itself. 

 

Have a nice day!

 

Pete

 

 

 

 

 

Parent/Teacher Conferences.

My friend Kwan has a rather boisterous son.  He's 5 and kind of a chip off the old block, so to speak.  Yesterday was Parent/Teacher conferences.  When I asked Kwan about it, this was his response:

 

"Ty is not going to be the next Einstein, but at least he's not biting people anymore."

 

That was just too funny not to blog about it.  :D

 

Pete

 

Piratesexuals....

Three things happened this week that inspired me to coin a new term.  From the subject of this post, you can imagine what that term is.  I'd like to talk about the inspiration first, because it would be completely against my ethos to get directly to the point that I want to make. ;)

 

First:  A friend who reads my blog knows my afinity for all things piratey.  He sent me THIS link to a local bike sale.  Well that started a few interesting discussions at work.

 

Second:  Some people in the office were teasing the guy in the cube across from me about being the ultimate metrosexual.  (From Wikipedia: Metrosexual is a term coined in 1994 (along with the noun, metrosexuality) by British journalist Mark Simpson, who used it to refer to an urban male of any sexual orientation who has a strong aesthetic sense and spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.)

 

Third (and probably most importantly):  I STILL haven't recovered from this year's "Talk like a pirate day". 

 

That's when I figured it out...   I'm a piratesexual.  It is a term used to refer to an urban dweller of any sexual orientation who has a strong aesthetic for all things piratey and the vocabulary to go along with it.  Since I don't often actually dress like a pirate, I guess I'm a closet piratesexual. 

 

This probably isn't an earth shattering realization for me or anyone who knows me.  It is, however, the first step for me to embrace my piratesexuality.  What's next?  I need to get a parrot and an eyepatch.  (Insert rude and disgusting peg leg comments here -- I know you're thinking them!) ;) Maybe Mike will loan me one of his birds for a photo shoot.  ;)

 

I guess that's it.  I'll explore my piratesexuality in the years to come and see what comes of it. 

 

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I'm off to swab the poop deck.

 

Pete

 

 

God bless horsepower and boost!

Hey guys.

 

If you're pressed for time or not drunk enough to read one of my e-mails, jump down to the ********** near the bottom.  You'll get the whole story and you won't have to read a lot of bullshit.   

 

I had a few hours this morning to work on the Corrado.  My normal day with the Corrado (when I've only got a few hours to work) goes something like this:

 

1.  Start fixing some small thing that should only take an hour. 

2.  Find at least 3 more thing that need to be fixed.

3.  Spend one hour each on each of the three things, plus the original thing that I was working on.

4.  Go to start the car.  It won't start.

5.  Swear a lot.

6.  Spend 1 hour taking stuff apart to plug in the one harness that I forgot when the car was completely dismantled. 

7.  Find one more thing that needs fixing.  This usually takes only about 30 minutes to fix.

8.  Start the car. 

9.  Dance a happy dance because it started, but be a little dissappointed because though it is running better, it still isn't running as well as it should. 

 

In the end it took me 6 hours to do a 1 hour job. 

 

Today wasn't one of those days. 

 

I had 4 hours to work.  I knew the things I wanted to do would take 2 hours.  I started them anyways. 

 

I replaced the injector wiring harness that I've been waiting on for quite some time.  While I was in there, I put the 315CC injectors back in.  (I had a hunch that the stock injectors were not flowing right).  I put that all back together.  Car started on the first turn and revved stronger than I've imagined. 

 

Total time for repair:  1 hour 35 min.  WTF? 

 

Time to change the chip and replace the boost line that goes from the throttle body to the ECU.  I'd allotted an hour for this, though I thought it might take less.  There are some tight areas in there that I need to reach into. 

 

It took me less than an hour to do both. 

 

That leaves me some quality time to spend going for a test drive. 

 

Sweet mother of all things that burn rubber!!!!  The Corrado is running faster than it ever has.  The new chip is unbelievable.  The injectors are perfect for feeding the beast.  Gone is the *BLATT* of the exhaust.  It has been replaced with a really great sounding *ROARRRRRRRR* 

 

I've still got time left to work.  :D  I'm going to clean the air filter, wash it, sand and prime for a few, then call call it a day.  Hopefully I'll be able to drive it to Ara's house for the party tonight.

 

As usual.  I've successfully managed to write a freaking novel of an e-mail.  

 

Sorry to waste half your day reading it. 

 

********** The Corrado wasn't running great.  I fixed it.  It freaking hauls ass now. 

 

Pete

 

Adventures in Fiberglass....

I have a new favorite holiday.  Fiberglass Day!   Though I wish it were a national holiday so that everyone could enjoy it, for now it will have to be my own personal holiday. 

 

I can already hear you now, "What the hell are you talking about, Pete????"

 

I took yesterday off to work on my car.  I've got a GREAT subwoofer for my car stereo, but it was designed with accoustic quality and durability in mind with little or no thought for how it looked or how heavy it was.  I didn't really feel how heavy it was until I upgraded the suspension on the GTI.  That made it so that I pretty much had to upgrade the sub enclosure. 

 

The sub placement I've got now is perfect.  I wanted to try and keep that if I could.  The shape and size of the box really made the bass tight and powerful.  It is the best of both worlds.  If I'm listening to something that is technically challenging to reproduce in a car (classical, jazz or some electronic music), I have a program for that equalization so that I can enjoy the music.  If I want to put on some Black Eyed Peas and assault the neighborhood with some booming bass, the sub will handle that too.  As I said above, the problem is that the sub is ugly and heavy. 

 

In an attempt to make a box with similar characteristics, I designed something that would work very well, but be challenging to form.  Because of my needs and the desire for strength in certain specific areas, I decided that a hybrid fiberglass/MDF box would work best.  I don't know too many people that build like this, so I was kind of going out on my own.  MDF is great accoustically.  It just stinks because it is heavy.  Fiberglass is light, but isn't as accoustically perfect as MDF.  I spent all day yesterday working on building a frame upon which to drape the fiberglass. 

 

My other constraint is that I have very little money for this project.  My goal was to build a sub enclosure with either stuff that I've already got, or things I could get cheaply.  My budget for this entire project was $30.  I had resin and hardener.  I also had a pretty good amount of  fiberglass cloth.  I got 2 sheets of prepeg for $14 each.  I needed hot glue sticks.  I barely made the budget... though if you add in tax, I guess I blew it by a buck or two. 

 

I'd found a place that sells prepeg fiberglass.  This is fiberglass with the resin already impregnated into the cloth.  The resin hasn't been activated yet, so the cloth is still flexible.  This is used in places where you've got some difficult fabrication to do.  Prepeg allows you to form things first, glue the fiberglass to the frame, then activate the resin and it gives you a base coat of fiberglass.  You then can remove part or all of the framing and add additional fiberglass where you need more strength. 

 

This plan worked well in some ways, not so well in others.  I wasn't happy with how the prepeg fit on the form.  It really didn't feel right and wasn't flexible enough to make the kinds of shapes I wanted.  I figured I'd fill in with regular fiberglass when I got the shape I wanted.  The other problem was that I ran out of time.  I didn't realize how late it was and how cold it had gotten before I activated the resin on the prepeg.  It was too cold and the resin didn't set up properly. 

 

The end result is that I learned a lot and I'm going to start over.  I tossed the prepeg idea.  It wasn't designed for the kind of things I wanted to do with it.  I also tossed the idea of starting with a technically perfect box.  I'm going to basically smash the box I created and come up with something simpler and less accoustically perfect.  It will be substantially lighter though.  That is always important. 

 

I'll post up when I get something worth looking at.

 

Pete

 

 

 

The Passive/Aggressive diet and conducting sales conference calls on the crapper.

That subject caught your eye, didn't it?  Lets see if I can link all this stuff together. 

 

When I feel down in the dumps, I go on a passive/aggressive diet.  I try to be really good and eat healthy stuff.  Inevitably all the good intentions catch up with me and I end up pigging out on something horrible for me.  Today is a perfect example.  I went downstairs to get lunch and went to a deli that has damn good salads.  I got a chop salad with a variety of fresh veggies and some chicken on top with fat free dressing.  Tastes good and it isn't too bad for me.  Unfortunately I had to wait for two friends to get their lunch in order to walk back to the office for a normal rowdy group lunch.  The wait is what killed me.  There's this damn pretzel place right by the exit to the food court.  They've got cute girls selling these disgusting food items that smell really good.  Dr. Einstein decided that I was being too virtuous by only eating a salad, so I got a pretzel dog to go with the salad.  YUMMY!

 

(STick with me, this is all going to tie in very quickly...)

 

As you might expect, the pretzel dog didn't really agree with me that well.  (You should have known this was coming).  I have had a few semi-extended stays in "my other office" as the bathroom has been renamed. 

 

What the heck is it with people doing business in the bathroom????  I can see how you might strike up a conversation with people while on break from a sales meeting.  That conversation might continue into the bathroom (making sure not to break the male code of silence while doing basic bodily functions). 

 

On three occasions today, I was happily reading a magazine, taking care of my kind of business, when someone either started a conference call or participated in a conference call while pissing or crapping.  What the heck is up with that???  I can't imagine people can't hear the pissing or at least the flushing, much less that distinctive echo that just screams "public bathroom!".  Visions of the diarrhea twins from Harold and Kumar come to mind.  "Wait, wait.... Here it is!"  and "You sunk my battle shit!".

 

Now I've got even bigger problems.  Every time I'm involved in a conference call from here on out, I'm going to be imagining that EVERONE else who is on the line is really conducting the call from a bathroom stall.  Any extranious noise is going to be thought the worst of.  I'm going to make sure to schedule conveference calls BEFORE lunch instead of after. 

 

Okay.  That's the end of my freakish rant. 

 

Have a nice day!

 

Love,

 

Pete

Now I won the Italian Lottery!!!

I love these e-mails.  I can't wait to collect all the big money from my Italian and Portuguese Lotto wins.  :D

 

Pete