New Year's Resolutions...

Well last year's resolution (to abuse alcohol) went so well, I need to do some good ones for this year.... 

 

1)  I resolve to change my name to "Dirt".   

 

2)  I resolve not to use Spam, duct tape, Gorilla Glue or a propane torch in my sex life. 

 

Since I can't imagine topping that resolution in this post, I'll leave it at that for now. 

 

Hugs and Kisses.

 

Pete

 

PS:  I guess resolution #1 definitely adds new meaning to my license plate. ;)

Happy Holidays from The Onion. ;)

 

Activist Judge Cancels Christmas
December 14, 2005 | Issue 41•50

WASHINGTON, DC—In a sudden and unexpected blow to the Americans working
to protect the holiday, liberal U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals Judge
Stephen Reinhardt ruled the private celebration of Christmas unconstitutional
Monday.


Per the court order, city workers take down the Christmas tree from New
York's Rockefeller Plaza. "In accordance with my activist agenda to secularize the nation, this
court finds Christmas to be unlawful," Judge Reinhardt said. "The celebration
of the birth of the philosopher Jesus—be it in the form of gift-giving,
the singing of carols, fanciful decorations, or general good cheer and warm
feelings amongst families—is in violation of the First Amendment
principles upon which this great nation was founded."

In addition to forbidding the celebration of Christmas in any form,
Judge Reinhardt has made it illegal to say "Merry Christmas." Instead, he has
ruled that Americans must say "Happy Holidays" or "Vacaciones Felices"
if they wish to extend good tidings.

Within an hour of the judge's verdict, National Guard troops were
mobilized to enforce the controversial ruling.

"Sorry, kids, no Christmas this year," Beloit, WI mall Santa Gene Ernot
said as he was led away from his Santa's Village in leg irons. "Write to
your congressman to put a stop to these liberal activist judges. It's up to
you to save Christmas! Ho ho ho!"

Said Pvt. Stanley Cope, who tasered Ernot for his outburst: "We're
fighting an unpopular war on Christmas, but what can we do? The military has no
choice but to take orders from a lone activist judge."

Across America, the decision of the all-powerful liberal courts was met
with shock and disappointment, as American families quietly took down their
holiday decorations and canceled their plans to gather and make merry.

"They've been chipping away at Christmas rights for decades," Fox News
personality John Gibson said. "Even before this ruling, you couldn't
hear a Christmas song on the radio or in a department store. I hate to say it,
America, but I told you so."


Judge Stephen Reinhardt of the U.S. 9th Circuit of Appeals issues his
ruling. Gibson then went into hiding, vowing to be a vital part of the
Christmas resistance that would eventually triumph and bring Christmas back to
the United States and its retail stores.

The ban is not limited to the retail sector. In support of Reinhardt's
ruling, Sen. Ted Kennedy, a Jew, introduced legislation that would
mandate the registration of every Christian in the United States and subject
their houses to random searches to ensure they are not celebrating Christmas.

"Getting rid of every wreath or nativity scene is not enough," Kennedy
said. "In order to ensure that Americans of every belief feel comfortable in
any home or business, we must eliminate all traces of this offensive
holiday. My yellow belly quakes with fear at the thought of offending any
foreigners, atheists, or child molesters."

America's children are bearing the brunt of Reinhardt's marginal,
activist rulings.

"Why did the bad man take away Christmas?" 5-year-old Danny Dover said.
"I
made a card for my mommy out of paper and glue, and now I can't give it
to her."

Shortly after Dover issued his statement, police kicked down his door,
removed his holiday tree, confiscated his presents, and crushed his
homemade card underfoot.

A broad, bipartisan coalition of lawmakers has been working closely
with the White House, banding together in the hope of somehow overruling the
decision. So far, however, their efforts have been fruitless.

"Our hearts go out to the Americans this ruling affects," Sen. Chip
Pickering (R-MS) said. "If it's any condolence, I wish you all a Happy
Holidays, which, I'm afraid, is all I'm legally allowed to say at this
time." © Copyright 2005, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.The Onion is not
intended for readers under 18 years of age.

 

 

Tulsa, Oklahoma Centennial Celebration

I thought this was interesting....

 

*************************************

Mon Dec 12, 9:01 PM ET

TULSA, Okla. - A Plymouth Belvedere that was buried in a concrete vault nearly 50 years ago as part of the state's golden anniversary celebration will be unearthed in 2007 as part of the Oklahoma centennial festivities.

The 1957 Belvedere is underground next to the Tulsa County Courthouse. Also buried with it were five gallons of gas and a case of beer.

 

Old news reports indicate the gas was buried in case internal combustion engines became obsolete by 2007 and no fuel was available. Other buried items include the contents of a woman's purse: 14 bobby pins, a lipstick, a pack of gum, tissues, a pack of cigarettes and matches and $2.43.

 

There was also an unpaid parking ticket, a bottle of tranquilizers and a spool of microfilm, which records the entries of a contest held to determine the winner of the car. The person to guess Tulsa's population in 2007 or the heirs of that person were to win the car and a $100 savings account.

 

Assuming an average annual interest of 5 percent compounded quarterly, such an account would be worth almost $1,200 today, if the account could be found.

 

The account was set up at a savings and loan that was taken over by Sooner Federal, which was liquidated during the savings and loan bust of the early 1990s. The committee has been trying to find the account, so far without success.

 

It's not clear exactly how the items were prepared for burial, or how they may have held up for all these years.

 

The Tulsa Historical Society and the centennial committee have been getting inquiries from all over the world about the car, including one from a Scandinavian who claims to have an exact twin of the buried Belvedere.

The Basics of the MkIV GTI

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Can customer service be too good???

Hey folks.

 

Don't get me going about the customer service with cell phone companies.  I've tried most of the companies out there at one time or another and had nothing but bad luck with all of them but one. Sprint is my company of choice.  They've always been good to me even when I'm an idiot. 

 

Today I got a phone call from them.  The called for the sole purpose of thanking me for paying my bill.  What the hell is up with that???  I know it is a rare and beautiful thing that I actually pay my bills, but golly sarge, it isn't THAT rare a thing.  It wasn't even a recording.  It was a live person.  I almost want to quit their service just so I can tell them that their people are too polite and nice for me.  That confuses and disorients me. 

 

Love,

 

Pete

 

What to do in Seattle when you're bored....

Uhhhmmmmm I'm not sure how to comment on this....

 

*************************************

Wednesday, November 30, 2005 · Last updated 7:02 p.m. PT

Man pleads guilty in horse-sex case

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

SEATTLE -- A man has pleaded guilty to trespassing in connection with a fatal horse-sex case.

James Michael Tait, 54, of Enumclaw, was accused of entering a barn without the owner's permission. Tait admitted to officers that he entered a neighboring barn last July with friend Kenneth Pinyan to have sex with a horse, charging papers said. Tait was videotaping the episode when Pinyan suffered internal injuries that led to his death.

Tait pleaded guilty Tuesday and was given a one-year suspended sentence, a $300 fine, and ordered to perform eight hours of community service and have no contact with the neighbors.

The prosecutor's office said no animal cruelty charges were filed because there was no evidence of injury to the horses.

*************************************

Okay, I lied.  I can't just let this hang out there.

What do you think the guy's funeral was like?  What were people thinking as they sat in the church?  What did the preacher say about him?  What did they put on his grave stone?  "A loving farmer who died while loving" and they just left off the "his neighbor's horse" part for decency stake?  What was the chit chat at the local farmers coop like the day after? 

At least there wasn't any injury to the horses. 

That brings back the wise words of Janine Garafalo, "It's okay to love your pets.  It's not okay to "love" your pets."

Have a nice day. :D

Pete

 

 

 

 

How a Geek prepares for Dyno Day...

Oy oy.

 

After the last dyno day, it was pretty obvious that I had some serious fueling issues.  I am in the rare, but enviable position of having too much fuel delivery. My a/f ratio dipped into the 9s -- about the only way my car will get into the 9s unless I'm running an 1/8 mile dragstrip. ;)

 

The other bit of good news is that I've got plenty that I can do to get things tuned properly.  Here's how it all played out:

 

1)  The easiest thing to do when you have too much fuel and not enough air is to add more air.  I've got 2 charger pulleys that are smaller than the one I was running last weekend.  I ran the 68mm (15psi) pulley on Saturday.  I've got a 65mm (17psi) pulley that I installed last night, a 62mm pulley (19psi) and a 58mm pulley (21+psi).  I'm not going to run either of the smallest pulleys because they would require me to limit the RPMs at which I peak so that I'd have to shift before the head flow was maxed out.  While I'd probably get more horsepower and torque, it would be only stuff I could use on the dyno. Drivability would suffer. 

 

Eventually I'll put a Lysholm charger on this thing.  Hopefully I'll do that this winter.  Once broken in, that charger can comfortably put out 20+ psi all day long.  If the A/F is right, then the bottom end can take that kind of boost without a problem. 

 

2.  Leaner Chip:  When SNS sent me my Stage V+ chip, they sent me three chips.  The idea is to install the richest one and check the A/F.  If all is well, then go to the middle chip and check the a/f.  If that still shows up rich, dance a happy dance, drop in the leanest chip and check the A/F.  Last weekend was on the middle chip.  I installed the leanest chip on Tuesday night.

 

3.  Lean the mixture.  VWs of that vintage used a CO Potentiameter to test the fuel mixture.  The signal from the CO-Pot tells the ECU how much air is going by and an idea of its composition.  By adjusting the resistance in the CO-Pot, you can adjust the signal that is sent to the ECU.  More resistance = leaner mixture.  This is an adjustment that you can do on the dyno.  It takes only a moment with a volt meter and a flathead screwdriver.  I set it at 600ohms and I can go as high as 800 before the ECU reads "out of range" and assumes that the CO-Pot is dead.  (500 is the stock setting). 

 

4.  Add Timing:  While this isn't an ideal way to deal with excess fuel, it is something that you can do when you've got too much fuel.  If you've done all of the above and your still running a little rich, you can run a little more timing.  This will use a little of that fuel and adjust your performance accordingly.  Normally as you increase timing advance on a G60, you lose a little low end torque and gain a bit of high end horsepower.  I'm not really sure if I like that trade-off.  Torque is fun.  It is a good way to take up a little extra fuel. 

 

Stock timing for a G60 is 6 degrees of advance in relation to top dead center.  I currently have it set at +10BTDC.  Again, I can adjust this while the car is on the dyno.  I'll just use the adjustable timing pulley. :D

 

Last week I knew I was running rich.  When I got on the boost, I was easlily 6 bisquits into the rich part of the dial on the A/F meter.  After the changes this week, I'm running 1-2 bisquits in the rich.  I've got potential to run it leaner than that if I need to.  

 

We'll see how it runs this weekend. 

 

Take care,

 

Pete