I am the sexiest man in the world. ;)

This morning was the morning from hell.  I didn't ride my bike in.  I had a 6am conference call with developers in India, followed by an 8am conference call with developers and content managers in Germany, followed by a demo meeting at 10:30 with people in Boston. 

 

I'll bet you're wondering how that matches up with the subject of this post???   Don't worry, I'm getting there.

 

I had just enough time between conference calls to run down to the Italian bakery to get a Tortino and coffee.  In his haste to return to the office and dial into Germany, Dr. Einstein spilled a little coffee down his front.  That always looks good. 

 

Well 30 seconds after that smooth move, I'm getting in the elevator.  I work on a secure floor, so I take a "special" elevator that requires a key pass to get in and run.  Just as the door is closing, a really beautiful chick heads for the door.  I've seen her before.  She works on a different floor.  I hold the door for her (because I'm a suave and sophisticated guy).  She swipes her pass key and punches the button for her floor. 

 

She knows I'm a goofball.  She's seen me interacting with my co-workers.  Her first words to me are, "You look like you had a little accident."  That's when the naturally suave and sophisticated man of the world in me comes out.   I'm a ladies man.  I'm all about impressing women with my whit and intellect.  My response bears that out perfectly: 

"When you gotta go, you gotta go!" 

 

She crinkled her nose, said "EWWWWWWWWWWwwww" and then laughed out loud.   She exited the elevator as soon as humanly possible. :D 

 

I am truly the most desirable man in the world (in my own mind at least). ;) 

 

Hugs and Kisses,

 

Pete

29er Bashing and the Call to Arms of the Zealots!!!

MTBR has had a lot of  talk about people bashing 29ers because they're slow and I find the discussions interesting.  I haven't been very patient with reading and commenting intelligently in these threads because the debate because it just seemed a little weird to me.  I tend to just post something stupid and annoying and then pat myself on the back because I think I'm the funniest guy around.  (As a side note, I still tend to think that's true, even though I KNOW with all my heart and soul that I'm the ONLY person in the world that agrees with me.  I'm used to it.  I'm a legend in my own mind.) :D

 

My theory on 29ers has always been that if your body type, trail conditions and riding style lend themselves to a 29er, then that is probably the bike for you.  If not, then you should ride a 26er.  If you have strong feelings either way, get the bike that makes you feel good inside and leave it at that.  Debate over as far as I'm concerned.

 

Then I did something really weird and completely out of character for me.  I actually bought Mountain Bike Action and read the article that people have been writing about.  I was suprised at how balanced and fair the article seemed.  MBA basically said that there are some things that 29ers do better than 26ers and that if you're of a particular body type and/or ride particular trails and/or with a particular riding style, then a 29er will be a faster bike for you.  It also pointed out that there are inherent shortcomings to both 29ers and 26ers.

 

Pete

It takes more than a day...

OY oy,.

 

I'm tired.  I'm gonna be short tonight.

 

I rode 54 miles at Schaeffer/Hoyles Mill/Black Hill on Sunday. 

 

I was tired.

 

I took yesterday off.

 

I went to do 2 laps at Fountainhead on Tuesday. 

 

I SUCKED!  I had nothing for the steep climbs and barely had much for the more mellow ones.  The workout consisted of me practicing going fast on the tight singletrack sections and rollers. 

 

It was fun.

 

Pete

Lets Talk about my SHORTS!!!

Bwahahahahaha.  This post isn't what you're thinking.

 

I asked a while back about different shorts since mine seem to all be wearing out.  I didn't have as much budget as I thought, so I thought I'd go for the cheapest shorts of good quality that I could find.  Since I had about $60 worth of Team Performance points, I had to cash in.

 

I've had good luck with two shorts that Performance makes:  Their Elite bib shorts and the Ultra bib shorts.  They're clearing out the 2005 shorts, so I figured it was time for me to clear out their stock. :D

 

I got two sets of Ultra Bib shorts and two sets of Elite bib shorts for under $100.  At retail price, that would have cost me $320. 

 

If you're going to Performance to find these deals, read the small print on the sales tags.  You're looking for the shorts that are marked "05" instead of "06". 

 

Make sure that you try the shorts on too.  They fit differently.  The Elite shorts use a 6-way stretch lycra (like many of the higher end shorts).  The Ultra shorts use stuff that is meant to be more supportive of your muscles.  That means it doesn't stretch as much.  As a result, I wear a Large in the Elite, but I'm between an XL and XXL in the Ultras.  They're cut the same and appear to use the same 8-panel pattern.  It is just a difference in the stretchiness of the shorts. 

 

Happy shopping.  I think I'm set for a while. :D  I still lust after castelli shorts.  I'll get some later in the summer.

 

Pete

I haven't posted anything truly worthless in a while....

"Teenage Dirtbag"

Her name is Noel
I have a dream about her
She rings my bell
I got gym class in half an hour
Oh how she rocks
In Keds and tube socks
But she doesn't know who I am
And she doesn't give a damn about me

Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me

Her boyfriend's a dick
And he brings a gun to school
And he'd sI'mply kick
My ass if he knew the truth
He lives on my block
And he drives an Iroc
But he doesn't know who I am
And he doesn't give a damn about me

Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me

Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin
Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin

Man I feel like mold
It's prom night and I am lonely
Low and behold
She's walking over to me
This must be fake
My lip starts to shake
How does she know who I am
And why does she give a damn about

I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden baby
Come with me Friday, don't say maybe
I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby like you

Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin
Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin

Can't find that eye candy you've been looking for? I can!!!

I've noticed a lot of things over the last few weeks about commuting to work by bicycle. I now know why all the gorgious people are so beautiful.  They're working hard for it.  If you're wondering where that fabulous looking person in your office works out, I can tell you the answer to that.  Every beautiful person in the Washington DC area is out running or riding their bike along the W&OD and Custis Trails between 5:30am and 6:30am and then again between 3:30pm and 4:45pm Monday through Friday.  No matter what form of humanity you're interested in, they're ALL on display (many in very little clothing on the afternoon commute) for your viewing pleasure.  Male, female, gay, straight, single, married, moms, dads, kids (over 18 of course)... they're all there! 

 

Have a nice day.  I'm looking forward to today's commute home. :)  It should be nice and warm.

 

Pete

 

My Brush With Death...

Oy oy.

 

Anyone who rides downtown eventually has a run in with a car.  Mine was this morning.  No contact was made, but it was damn close. 

 

I had warmed down and was just soft pedalling along the sidewalk at 15th and Constitution about a block away from my office.  I waited for the walk signal, looked to my right to make sure no-one was running the light, saw no-one there and proceeded across.  As I'm approaching the middle of the street, I hear a honk to my right.  A guy was running the red light almost 10 seconds after the light turned red.  I know it was almost 10 seconds because the crosswalk counter had counted them down. 

 

It seemed like he missed me by inches.  My honest guess is that he was actually about 2 feet away from me.  He was drinking coffee and honking the horn as he drove around the corner. 

 

I was more than a little pissed off at this.  I know that I can't really do anything about it, but I figured I'd follow the guy and see if I could talk to him.  I really wanted to yell at him for driving like an idiot, but I know that won't do much good.  Adrenalin kicked in very quickly and before I knew it I was in the big ring, out of the saddle and sprinting up 15th street after him. 

 

The good news:  My big ring still works after all these years.  Today it was not just cosmetic. :D

 

More good news:  It only took me six blocks to catch up to the guy. 

 

Even more good news:  My head had cooled down by the time I pulled up to his half open window.  I just calmly asked him nicely to be a little more careful when turning left.  I calmly told him that he almost killed me.  He freaked out a little and said a lot of stuff that I didn't understand.  At least he put his coffee down to talk. 

 

The best news of all:  Just before the light was going to turn green, I was getting ready to turn back and head down to my office again, a DC Policeman on a bicycle rode up and told me, "I'll take it from here, son".  He told the guy to pull to the side and gave him a ticket. 

 

As it turns out, the cop was most of the way up the block between Constitution and Pennsylvania when he saw the guy almost run me down.  I was so hellbent on catching the guy in the car and being as safe as possible (I broke no traffic laws that I'm aware of) that I didn't see him follow me up the street.  I think he was originally afraid that I was going to wail on the guy or something.  He seemed pleasantly suprised that I was talking in such a civil manner with him.

 

Oh well.  It sounded more dramatic in the subject, didn't it?

 

Happy trails.

 

Pete

 

Bike Commuting Poser

I met an interesting man today.  He is a bicycle commuter poser.  I kinda knew there was something fishy about this guy from the first time I saw him. 

My commute is 14 miles if I take the direct route, it can be as much as 24 if I get creative.  When riding in and chatting with this guy over the warm-down portion of the ride (right at the end) on Tuesday, he mentioned that his commute is about 17 miles from Alexandria.  We work in the same building and as it turns out, park our bikes next to each other.  He was fresh, un-sweaty and not really windblown at all.  I just figured he had miracle hair or something.  Maybe he is a hair club member.  Those guys in the commercials always seem to be well coiffed... even if they're playing some kind of sport. 

 

I didn't see him Wednesday. 

 

Thursday I saw a red VW Golf TDi drive by on GW Parkway as I was heading to memorial bridge with a bike that looked remarkably like this guy's specialized.  It had one of those racks that just clamps to the seat post with a rack trunk strapped to it and clip-on aero bars.  It was definitely that guys bike.  I was tired Thursday morning and had taken the long route in, so I was soft pedaling along the Mt. Vernon trail by this time.  He managed to catch me pretty quickly... just as I got on the Memorial Bridge.  I figured something was fishy.  I asked him how his ride had been so far.  He said "Fast, but it is good to ease up now".  Yeah... right.   I gave him the benefit of the doubt... thinking maybe he was going to drop his bike off for service after work.  He hadn't really lied to me.  His commute *was* fast... like 55mph in spots.  Faster than me. 

 

Friday he got busted BIGTIME!  I was riding about 10 minutes late because I'd hit the snooze button once this morning.  I compensated by hammering like crazy to try and make up a few of those minutes.  I was actually running 5 minutes faster than usual.  I got to the tourist lot at Roosevelt Island on the Mt. Vernon trail and who do I see unloading his bike off the back of his red TDi??????  My commuting buddy.  We made eye contact, I gave him a nod, and went on my way.  When I eased up to start the warm-down, he pulled up next to me.  The first words out of his mouth were, "I hope you don't work at EPA." 

 

I thought about telling him that I was an investigator with the EPA Office of Inspector General, but gave him a break. "Nope.  I work for SAP." 

 

"Good.  I can't handle commuting by bike anymore, but it is good PR for me to appear to do so." was his response. 

 

I laughed and told him that his secret is safe with me....   I lied. ;) 

 

Love,

 

Pete

 

My New Favorite Road Sign.

I love road signs.  The weirder they are, the better.  I did a lap through my "tour of Arlington" on the way home yesterday.  It bumps out the mileage on my commute home and it is just a beautiful ride.   I hadn't done this particular loop in a while and the town has changed a little, so I got lost.  I LOVE it when that happens.  I just ride around making random turns until I figure out where I am. 

 

During this search for myself, I happened upon a curve in the road where another smaller road joins in.  The way I was riding, the road curved to the left and there was a small road, almost an alley, that came in from the right.  The sign to announce this intersection was priceless.  It read:

 

"Blind Entrance From Rear"

 

I hope that was as funny to you as it was to me. :)

 

Have a nice day.

 

Pete

 

Things that I've learned about commuting to work by bicycle.

1)  I like it.  I like it a lot.  I can't believe I've gone this long without riding my bike to work.  I'm an idiot.

 

2)  My Road Bike "instincts" have come back very quickly.  I'm still working on the "eyes in the back of the head" thang, but stuff like where exactly the water bottle is the whole dynamics of riding a road bike in and around traffic are back in full strength.  I guess it's kind of like riding a bike. 

 

3)  My lights are dead.  My night rider system has finally gone around the bend.  Both the headlight and bar light have bad electrical connections in them and they shut off at the worst moments.  It could be that both batteries are dead.  I honestly don't know.  I'll do something about it before big bear.

 

4)  People who commute by bicycle are chatty.  There are people who will chew my ear off on the ride in.  That's fine with me.  I'm not awake enough to really contribute much.  On the way home I'm usually trying to work harder so I'm out of breath more and not chatty. 

 

5)  People who commute by bicycle are not chatty.  Many folks like me just want to ride and don't need any company for that to take place.

 

6)  My big pink Tesch is like an old friend.  Getting back on that bike reminds me why I got it in the first place and why I hope that bike lasts me a life time.  I've ridden MANY road bikes over the years.  I've owned some made by the most impressive and well-respected builders in the world -- Serotta, Masi, Colnago, Merlin, Paramount, etc -- and none of them fit me or my riding like this old pink hunk of steel.  It was built in an age when tig welded steel was frowned upon in road circles.  It was one of the first serious tig welded frames available.  I'm amazed every time I get on it. 

 

7)  A big pink bike is an invitation to talk.  This is closely related to #4.  Few people can resist commenting on how big and pink that thing between my legs is.  I think they've got big-pink-thing-between-the-legs envy.

 

8)  Don't draft off of anyone named Harry Cracker.  My buddy Pat wins the good friend of the year award.  Yesterday I got a tear in the back of an old pair of shorts right above my ass.  I knew it was there, but didn't have time to change shorts between getting home from my road ride and hitting the trails on the single speed.  I hoped in vain that my jersey would be long enough to cover it.  It wasn't.  Pat had a little portal just big enough to see my hairy backside.  He made a few jokes and then concentrated on riding.  Good man, Pat.   You're a trooper. 

 

9)  "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."  One of the big wigs at work walked in from the parking garage with me this morning.  He had a big meeting today and was decked out in his power suit with his power tie and a perfectly laundered shirt.  I was decked out in my Bike Doctor team kit, still wearing my helmet and a pair of flip flops while carrying my cycling shoes, messanger bag and my water bottle (with cartoons of bunnies humping on it).  Oddly enough he was impressed and asked me about what the commute was like, why I'm riding instead of driving and how it was working out for me.  Cool guy.  He's stopped by and talked twice today.  Glad I wasn't wearing the shorts referenced in #8. 

 

10)  I need new road pedals.  My 16 year old Time Magnesium comp pedals with matching Time Equipe shoes are getting really tired.  I don't think the cleats are available anymore for these things.  That means new shoes too since these are the 2nd generation Time shoes that are neither look nor shitmano compatable.  Any suggestions?  Right now I'm leaning towards Speedplays with Pearl Izumi shoes.  The Pearl's are my mountain shoe of choice.  I can't imagine their road shoes are horrible in any way.  What else is out there?  Time?  Look?  Shitmano?  Bebop?

 

11)  Did I mention that I like commuting by bicycle?

 

12)  I need new shorts.  I know that because my ass is chapped and the old ones are falling apart.  (see #8)  Time to go shopping.  Any suggestions?  Pearl Izumi are my favorites for price/quality.  Is it worth investing in Assos, Castelli or Campy shorts?  Quality is important to me.  If I get really good shorts, I'll get only 2 pairs and rotate them out.  If I get cheaper ones, I'll have to get 4 or 6 pairs in order to last like the good ones. 

 

13)  I get free cell phone service!!!!  Not really.  I did some calculations last night and found that by riding to work, I'll be saving between $85 and 90 per month.  That is about what the cell phone bill is. 

 

I'm sure that I'll be adding to this list over the next month or two. 

 

Love,

 

Pete

 

The dog ate my homework

Well not really.  Mao did eat my keyboard though! 

 

Well not really.  He chewed through the cord so the keyboard doesn't work anymore though. 

 

That part is true.

 

I was typing something Monday night and all of a sudden the keyboard goes dead.  No lights on the "num lock" and no keys are working.  Suspecting the worst, I call out "MAO!!!!" to which he responds "MAO" from underneath my desk.  That is a little human/cat schtick that we have.  I don't seem to mind it as long as it doesn't cost me too much to fix whatever he's chewed, or it is too hard to clean up whatever he's eaten after it shows up in the cat box a day later. 

 

Love,

 

Pete

 

I HIT THE JACKPOT!!!! (The jackpot for the infantile burp/fart humor set at least)

I'm easily entertained.  Anyone that knows me knows that is true.  I've had my own personal lottery going for years.  Unfortunately you don't win any prizes for hitting this lottery.  I just get a sense of personal pride and satisfaction from hitting it big.  

 

This is where most of you are saying, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???"  

 

My lottery tickets consist of any receipt or ticket that you get that has a number on it.  There's only one winning number.  That number is "69".  The rules are simple.  If I ever get any kind of ticket or receipt that has as its order number "69", I'm a winner!  If I get number 68, I can't order something else immediately after in order to get #69.  The number has to be arrived at by fair and legitimate means.   

 

This has been going on for YEARS!  In all my 42 years, I've successfully hit the jackpot three times.  The first was at the Heidelburg Bakery in Arlington, VA back in 1998.  They have a "Please take a number" machine and a counter on the wall.  When they're done serving #68, the lady behind the counter calls out "Number 69!  Can I help number 69 please?"  That is music to my Jr. High School brain.  I even wait as long as I possibly can before she goes on to #70 just to hear her call it out agian. 

 

The second time I hit the jackpot was November 14, 2002 at 8:12am.  I know this because it is printed on the receipt.  I got a flavored and plain crioissant and a large Cafe au lait from Gelatissimo, the local Italian bakery and ice cream place near the office.  I go there a lot for breakfast. 

 

When number 69 comes up is completely dependant on how many customers have been through the place in the morning.  I try and schedule my visits there to get as close to 69 as possible.  You'd think that I'd be there around 8:12am every day, but it doesn't work like that.  During tourist season, 69 can come up much earlier.  When congress is in session, it can be much earlier.  There are times in the slow season when it can happen as late as 10 or 10:30.  That is a rarity. 

 

A year ago, Gelatissimo opened an Italian deli next door to their pastry/ice cream shop.  That is my new favorite breakfast place. Their bagels are great and cheap.  That is where I hit the jackpot this morning at 8:41am.  I got a whole wheat bagel with raisin cream chease on it.  That is what I almost always order, but today it tasted so much better.  It tasted better because not only did I get to hear the cute Latina woman behind the counter call out "NUMBER 69!  Who's got number 69?" (I hesitated to raise my hand so I'd hear her say it again), I got to walk back to the office with a bit of spring in my step that comes from knowing that I am truly number 69 and I've got the receipt to prove it. 

 

My three winning jackpot tickets are now proudly displayed in my cube at work.  A few people notice them and ask what I'm doing with two breakfast receipts and a "take a number" ticket.  I weave the tale as though these were my most treasured possessions.  Is it any wonder why I'm not in management? ;)

 

Love,

 

Pete

 

 

 

 

 

I thought they only did this stuff in France...

No offense inteded to my good friend SuperFrenchie, but I've had a chip on my shoulder about road cycling for the last 15 years.  I was an avid road cyclist for YEARS.  When I lived in Colorado, I loved riding the road bike so much that I rarely hit the trails in the area.  Quite honestly, the road riding is so amazing out there that I'd find myself tempted by the roads out there even today. 

 

I won't go into my whole chip on the shoulder thing about riding the road bike in Virginia.  I will say this...  I've had two really awesome road rides in the last 2 days and I'm feeling pretty damn good about riding the skinny-tired thing.  Though I'll still make fun of anyone who rides on skinny tires (myself included), I'll do so with a bit more sarcasm. :)

 

I'm now psyched to build a bad weather commuting bike for the days that I don't want to take my road bike out.  That is where my old Karate Monkey is going. :) I still need to invest in a few parts for it, but it'll get there pretty soon. 

 

Happy Trails.

 

PEte